It seems every Durham student has LinkedIn. However, the way that you use LinkedIn actually says a lot about the kind of person you are. As a result, The Durham Tab has compiled a guide to the dazzling personalities you may find on Durham LinkedIn… Tag yourself!
The Novelist
There’s always that person who writes an entire novella on LinkedIn any time they do ANYTHING. Although this is one of my biggest pet peeves (I have genuinely NO idea why people do this), you have to appreciate being able to read cracking yarns such as: “I worked a single shift at Tesco, so here’s a very accurate guide to becoming the CEO” and “Everyone I’ve ever met hates me: Here’s what it taught me about business management.” It’s great that you’re getting out and doing things, but I don’t understand the desire to write a dissertation on every move you make. Further points lost if you used AI or used emojis for formatting.
TLDR: Nobody is reading all of that x
The Liar
Pretty self-explanatory. This person just lies. If they went to a society once and left after 20 minutes, best believe they were and “active” and “integral” member of the group. According to their LinkedIn, the worst society-leader you know is a “passionate”, “dedicated” “____ enthusiast”, working tirelessly to hold the society together alone. It is crucial you do not trust them.
Jane Doe
Honestly respectable. You’re probably fed up with everyone on this list (particularly The Novelist) – or you’re just a very committed observer. I see you, stalker. The people are wowed by your nonchalance.
The Networker
This person comments on everyone’s posts, posts a ton of updates, and probably slides into your DMs trying to sell you something. They’re technically not wrong because networking is sort of the point of LinkedIn, but everything this user does is imbued with a scary social-climby aura. I’m not sure if The Networker or The Novelist is worse. Somehow, some manage to be both – a truly wicked combination. Further points lost if you’ve ever asked someone for their LinkedIn on a night out.
The Normal Person
Jane Doe loves you and so do I. In my view, this is the person who has a list of things they’ve done, is slightly irked by the term “networking”, doesn’t post soliloquies every day, but still has a fair bit of information for the curious among us to “research.”
Featured image via Canva.
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