Bisexuality is very misunderstood by society in general (and even within the LGBT+ community). Many people think it is only a phase, when bisexual people are just confused; others think that a woman is only bisexual because “she hasn’t found the right man yet”, or that a man says he is bisexual because he doesn’t have the courage to be gay.
Above all, There is a widespread belief that being in a homosexual relationship is “choosing a lifestyle”, when sexual orientation is not a choice, you cannot choose, it is merely a characteristic. When we talk about bisexuality, some people don’t understand how a bisexual person can to choose (using the wrong verb here) to be with a person of the same gender when, feeling attracted to both men and women, when it could have chosen a person of the opposite gender.
In this sense, I ask: is a heterosexual man attracted to all women? No. Can you choose which woman you are attracted to? No. Is a heterosexual woman attracted to all men and can she choose who she is attracted to? No. Therefore, a bisexual person cannot choose who they are attracted to. A bi woman cannot simply choosing to fall in love with a man because “it’s easier”. Who is it easier for? For a society that cannot conceive of a loving relationship outside of heteronormativity without difficulty; and because we know that a person in a homosexual relationship encounters many more social obstacles, unfortunately. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual; There is nothing wrong with having had romantic relationships with men and now with women, or if you have had relationships with both in the past. What is wrong is judging without knowledge of the facts, based on lack of knowledge of the matter and prejudice.
Furthermore, there are people who see bisexuality as a red flagthat is, there are heterosexual and homosexual people who, being interested in a bi person and even having a romantic relationship with them, see bisexuality as a danger, because it makes them confused or because they feel that there is a greater probability of being changed. Now, what this situation reveals, being real, is prejudice, insecurity, lack of self-esteem.
Being bisexual is not “a lifestyle”, it is an inherent characteristic. You cannot choose to be bisexual or heterosexual. If we force ourselves to be something we are not, we are lying to ourselves and living a lie. In this context, it is also important to mention that sexual orientation is not necessarily something fixed. However, just because it can be a reality does not mean bisexuality should be considered a phase. To think that it is merely a phase is to devalue, it is to belittle the entire person we have in front of us. For example, just because a woman, after heterosexual relationships, now has lesbian relationships and identifies as a lesbian, does not necessarily mean that she has lived a false life. On the other hand, there are many homosexual people who have never revealed that they are homosexual but are. There is no age limit for disclosure nor should there be judgment on any disclosure (coming out). Swap the “just now?” by something like “I’m happy that you’re living your life as you are and I support you on your path”.
For all these questions, the representation of bisexual people is important to demystify all pre-conceived social concepts about this sexual orientation. In practice, in the interpersonal relationships of everyday life, it doesn’t matter what sexual orientation you have, it does matter that you build healthy relationships, which are a home for the people who are part of it. On the other hand, in our growth as a society, it is necessary to talk about the existence of bisexual people, so that people who have doubts about their orientation can know that there are several sexual orientations in whose communities they can find belonging. I guarantee you that my adolescence would have been much easier if they had told me about bisexuality in these important years. Only later did I realize and proudly embrace the fact that I am bisexual, and there is nothing, nothing, nothing, wrong with that.
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