“It’s not about changing masters, it’s about stopping being a dog.”
A lawyer friend shared that phrase with me while we were talking about the case of a woman who has been with someone who abuses her for 15 years and won’t leave him. It hurt me. Another acquaintance gathered courage, left her abusive husband… and today her children’s stepfather abuses her.
At some point, I also sought my dad’s approval. And even though it’s gone, I still find myself looking for acceptance outside, in others.
An acquaintance stopped smoking and gained 25 kilos. Another gave up alcohol and became addicted to his lust. A friend who used to buy very expensive bags now buys tennis shoes that she doesn’t wear, because she runs.
A very rich man I know suffers from spending and became a slave to his money because he feared misery.
Did we really change… or did we just disguise it? Do we compensate it?
We live waiting for changes in the country. In each campaign we hear new promises and many times we remain the same. We think that everything will change if the system changes, if the government changes, if the other changes.
But… what if the change starts with us?
I have been “on a diet” for years and I continue to carry the same kilos. I pay my cards daily… but I have several maxed out.
I would like to stop being a dog, but I have to understand that if I am not conscious in my decisions, I only change masters.
We want to stop being “dogs”—that metaphor that puts us in the role of those who seek love, security, attention… in exchange for obeying, putting up with it, keeping quiet or repeating patterns.
But if we don’t raise awareness, we just change the strap.
I do not share it from the trial, but from the process. Because I’m in mine too.
And because I am learning to love and accept, I am also allowing myself to view the stories of others with more compassion.
My name is Alejandro Granja Peniche, and I write to accompany those who are on their path of change.
If this made sense to you, share it. See you next Monday.
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