Legendary Hollywood actor Anthony Hopkins recalls the one moment he realized he was an alcoholic. The actor opens up about a “radio voice” in an Oct. 25 episode of The New York Times podcast The Interview.
Hopkins recalls a time when he was drunk driving in California in a complete “blackout, no clue where I was going, when I realized that I could have killed somebody.” He also realized he could have hurt himself, but it wasn’t his main concern.
“I came to my senses and said to an ex-agent of mine at this party in Beverly Hills, ‘I need help,'” he said.
Part of Hopkins’s road to sobriety wasn’t just that one moment, but what he calls a “voice” that spoke to him, described as a “vocal, male, reasonable, like a radio voice.”
“It was 11 o’clock precisely — I looked at my watch — and this is the spooky part: Some deep, powerful thought or voice spoke to me from inside and said: ‘It’s all over. Now you can start living. And it has all been for a purpose, so don’t forget one moment of it,'” he recalled.
The Silence of the Lambs actor said the voice took away his craving to drink. While he has no clear explanation on why, he believes it’s a “divinity or that power that we all possess inside us that creates us from birth, life force, whatever it is.”
Looking back at his younger years, he remembers drinking parties with hotshot actors and thinking they were “rebels” and “outsiders.”
“‘And at the back of the mind is: ‘It’ll kill you as well.’ Those guys I worked with have all gone,” he said. Hopkins now wakes up in the morning, pondering how he’s still alive, but grateful.
He has been open about his sobriety, having posted on Instagram a New Year’s video, urging fans to get help if they need it.
“It doesn’t cost a thing. But it will give you a whole new life,” he said of 12-step programs.
“I’m an old sinner like everyone, but all I can say is I have the best life I can even imagine, and I can’t even take credit for it. So wherever you are, get help, don’t be ashamed, be proud of yourself.”
