The internet has been in a confused, angry, (slightly horny) frenzy ever since Jonathan Bailey and Scarlett Johansson locked lips at the Jurassic World: Rebirth world premiere.
Then, stoking the controversy, the Bridgerton actor, 37, and the Marvel star, 40, locked lips again as they appeared alongside castmates Mahershala Ali and Rupert Friend at the New York premiere of the film yesterday.
Flurries of opinions quickly followed, with X user @Huffman4758 writing, ‘If I’m Colin Jost I’m concerned. 😳’
@GlowMetax agreed with the criticism, ‘I thought she was married???’ while @CalRizzerected: chimed in, ‘WTF Colin, you just gonna let him kiss her on the lips like that?’
But others rolled their eyes at the pearl clutchers, with @emellghostlight posting: ‘Some of y’all have never had a gay bestie, and it shows.’
@Lorenitacardena agreed: ‘Jonathan Bailey is gay, I don’t see what the problem is, it’s a game without consequences.’
Bailey then told Entertainment Tonight about the viral smooches: ‘I believe in being able to show love in all different ways. And if you can’t kiss your friends… life’s too short not to.’
Exactly. Bailey is openly gay, and Johansson has been married to Colin Jost, a Saturday Night Live star, for four years. Jost and Johansson even wore matching outfits to the premiere.
The Colin Josts of the world – those solid, thin-lipped husbands with their pastel button-ups and Sims-default facial features – know exactly what’s up.
They know that their marital agreement includes standing back and smiling politely as they watch their bombshell wife light up like a Christmas tree as she locks lips with her gay best friend on sight.
Jost clearly has nothing to worry about from the famously gay actor, and we should all pray we never live to see the day when a beautiful, straight, married woman can no longer mouth-kiss her beautiful, gay best friend.
It’s elegant, theatrical, and just the right amount of bitchy – like the leads of the high school musical greeting each other with a casual lip-kiss at rehearsal, a subtle power move that says: we’re worldly, we’re inseparable, and no, you can’t sit with us.
Any girl who grew up going to musical theatre camp knows it’s Jonathan Bailey’s god-given right to sample Scarlett Johansson’s lipstick whenever she feels like planting one on his gorgeous, chiselled face.
In fact, it is the sacred birthright of every Jonathan Bailey and every Scarlett Johansson to kiss each other square on the mouth, whether it’s pre-brunch or pre-red carpet photocall.
It’s chic, it’s continental, it’s effortlessly cosmopolitan.
And, jokes aside, it’s the kind of flagrant affection for our friends that we should all be exhibiting in a post-COVID world in which connection is more precious than ever.
Bombs are falling, Chat GPT is coming for all of our jobs, and I, for one, plan to follow Scar-Jo’s example and go out smooching as many of my loved ones as I can get my lips on – social convention be damned.
So relax, internet. This isn’t infidelity, this is cultural healing.
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