Almost four years on from Brooklyn Beckham’s star-studded Palm Beach wedding, it’s still causing drama for the family.
In a series of Instagram Stories, 26-year-old Brooklyn claimed part of the reason he’s now estranged from his parents is their attitude to now-wife Nicola Peltz prior to the April 2022 event.
However, something mum Victoria did on the day itself was apparently something of a breaking point for their already-tense relationship — and the alleged incident has quickly become a meme.
‘My mum hijacked my first dance with my wife, which had been planned weeks in advance to a romantic love song,’ the former model told his 16 million followers.
‘In front of our 500 wedding guests, Marc Anthony called me to the stage, where in the schedule was planned to be my romantic dance with my wife but instead my mum was waiting to dance with me instead.’
If that wasn’t cringe enough, he also accused his Spice Girl turned fashion designer mother of dancing ‘very inappropriately on [him]’, adding that he had ‘never felt more uncomfortable or humiliated in [his] entire life’.
Brooklyn’s revelations align with previous reports from People, where a source claimed family friend and salsa artist Anthony started off the song by announcing, ‘The most beautiful woman in the room tonight, come on up… Victoria Beckham!’
As you can probably imagine, the whole thing went down like a lead balloon, with this unnamed attendee saying that guests – and the couple themselves – were left in stunned silence.
But while the £2.3 million budget and 13-acre oceanfront mansion setting of the Peltz-Beckham nuptials aren’t exactly standard, they’re far from the only ones to have dealt with first dance friction from their mums and dads.
According to Essex-based wedding planner and founder of Georgina Rose Events, Georgie Davis, it’s not uncommon for parents to ‘make a bit of a scene’ when the couple take to the floor, often ‘because they don’t feel they’ve got enough attention on them.’
She tells Metro: ‘Whether it’s that they’re not in the room for the first dance and I have to go find them, delaying everything, or they’re talking through it, or they’re getting ready to join the dancefloor earlier than they’re supposed to — that’s the kind of tension I see a lot.’
And although this particular situation – where a parent ‘hijacks’ their child’s big moment – is rare, her clients’ family and friends as if they can plan ‘surprises’ on such a regular basis that she’s has to create a rule about what’s allowed.
‘If their surprise affects the timeline or logistics of the day, it’s simply not happening,’ Georgia explains. ‘So if I was coordinating that wedding, I would have had to tackle Victoria Beckham, which would have been a lot. That to me is an absolute no-go.’
‘It just felt weird’
At a recent wedding she attended, Hannah* watched on as the confused bride was instructed to put on a blindfold after dancing with her husband, before ‘her dad appeared on the dancefloor, looking pleased as punch.’
‘My friend, the groom, looked fuming, and had to awkwardly shuffle away,’ she tells Metro. ‘Then, we all watched a repeat of the first dance – albeit soundtracked to a different, but still romantic, love song.’
It received a mixed response, with some guests ‘beaming’, while others – including Hannah – ‘were awkwardly side-eyeing each other.’
She continues: ‘My boyfriend couldn’t help but whisper “this is weird” into my ear, and I absolutely agreed. Obviously, it’s lovely to see a father showing his love and emotion for his daughter on her wedding day. And of course, have a dance together if you wish.
‘But the performative nature of this seemed strange — like he was claiming ownership over her. It just felt overbearing.’
Despite this, she says these stunts aren’t usually malicious, and it tends to be because parents – particularly the groom’s – ‘don’t feel like they’re involved’ or feel they’re entitled to be part of the planning if they’re contributing financially.
Psychotherapist, author and TEDx speaker Dr Belynder Walia agrees, saying it’s often ‘less about intention and more about misjudging the moment,’ as they don’t always fully consider how their actions will be received.
‘Weddings place the spotlight firmly on the couple, which can feel like a noticeable change for parents who have been very involved in their child’s life,’ she tells Metro. ‘A surprise gesture can be a way of staying involved during a moment of transition.’
In some cases though, HCPC counselling psychologist Dr Candice O’Neil warns it can be a way for an insecure parent to ‘try to control the moment and/or the optics,’ as a signal to those in attendance ‘that they retain ultimate authority and control over the family, including the newly-married couple.’
Regardless of the intentions behind it, the outcome can range from a disrupted day and a few stern words from the bride or groom to all-out family conflict if they believe their day has been ‘ruined’ as a result.
‘For the couple, it may feel as though an agreed boundary was crossed, even if it wasn’t intentional, while for guests, it can create brief confusion or awkwardness, which often becomes part of how the day is remembered,’ says Dr Walia.
‘Within families, moments like this can quietly influence expectations around future occasions, particularly around who takes the lead, how shared moments are handled, and the importance of clear communication.’
Dr O’Neil adds: ‘In a therapy setting, I’d encourage a patient to sit with the feelings within this sort of relational challenge and get clear on how it’s making them feel and how to move forward with agency — which is exactly what I believe Brooklyn has done in this instance.’
What is your opinion on parents being involved in their child’s wedding dances?
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I think it is a nice tradition if agreed upon
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It should be up to the couple alone
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It depends on the situation and how it’s handled
The rise of father-daughter and mother-son dances
Here in the UK, it’s a growing trend for newlyweds to have a specific dance with their parents, with wedding planner Michelle Jacobs saying it’s long been a standard part of the US events she’s arranged, ‘but we are increasingly seeing more British couples incorporating this tradition.’
The crucial point when it comes to making this work though, is that it needs to be agreed with the couple beforehand. And that often means suppliers having to step in.
Michelle tells Metro: ‘To date, we have never incorporated an inappropriate moment such as the one described by Brooklyn Beckham — but that’s not to say it might not have happened had we not been able to warn parents that they should reconsider.’
Timing is key too, and Georgia says it can be ‘quite confusing’ to work out when this should be scheduled in for to ensure the day flows well; before or after the traditional couple dance, or at a different point in the day.
‘We had one situation recently where the couple planned the father-daughter dance immediately after the groom’s speech,’ says Michelle. ‘But once I explained how inappropriate this would feel, they quickly realised, and we instead went directly from the speech to the couple’s first dance, with the father-daughter dance elsewhere in the schedule.’
And if you want to make extra sure the groom’s parents aren’t tempted to spring a few moves on you like Victoria, Georgia says your best bet is making them feel included in other ways, from reserved signs at the ceremony to buttonholes or first looks.
‘The problem with weddings is that typically the groom’s mum and dad are forgotten,’ she adds. ‘There are a lot of roles for the bride’s mother and father, but the parents of the groom rarely get any input whatsoever, so I can see where feuds come from.’
