Vulva massages and striptease classes: inside Berkshire’s hidden sex retreat

A brand new Valentine’s Day sex retreat is set to open its doors to adventurous couples and singles alike this February.

Hosted by the iconic kink-positive event company, Killing Kittens, this raunchy getaway will take place in an undisclosed grade II-listed Victorian manor in Berkshire, just a 30 train ride from London.

Nestled within 80 acres of landscaped grounds, it’s within easy reach of Heathrow Airport if you’re travelling from afar.

The soirée follows the company’s first-ever sex retreat which took place at the same venue in October last year, and saw Metro journalist Josie Copson attend to see what it was all about.

If you’re keen to experiment sexually with your partner than on the most romantic weekend on the year, or if you’re single and looking for sexual connection, it could also be just the ticket.

Of course, the actual tickets cost £1,300 for all three nights (Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night) if you’re attending alone, or £2,600 if you’re attending as a couple.

Yes, it’s not cheap, but Killing Kittens has seen a 400% increase in attendance in recent years, and with an estimated 1.5 million Brits now embracing swinging, demand is only getting higher.

The cost does include all food, accommodation, and activities for the weekend (although drinks are an added extra) – and the schedule is rather rammed.

What to expect at this sex retreat

Now there’s lots of activities to choose from, so you won’t be able to indulge in all of them while you’re there, but here’s what’s on offer.

There’s a penis massage class which Josie attended (and a vulva equivalent). She recalls: ‘Dressed in a black and red maxi dress and bare feet, [the teacher] straddles her male model.

‘The smile doesn’t leave his face as she places both hands gently on his penis and gives it a “hug”, before talking through the moves to her receptive audience of around 30 couples. Each is peering over at the live demo, some jotting down notes, before they try on each other.’

Sounds pretty saucy to us. A shibrari workshop (Japanese rope bondage) is on offer too, as are burlesque and striptease classes. BDSM 101 and BDSM Advanced workshops are available, with 101 for beginners, while more seasoned sexual experimenters can enjoy the advanced offering.

For those who prefer something a little less hands-on, there’s a Neon Life Drawing Class, where you can pose and be painted, or do the painting yourself.

Other workshops include; erotic impact (spanking), scene building, exploring fantasies, and what to expect at your first play party. There’s even a class for couples to learn to manage their jealousy, as well as advice

When it comes to food, you can expect candlelit dining, cabaret performances, and a themed Valentine’s Ball.

After you’ve got your kit off in the evenings, mornings will follow a more leisurely schedule dedicated to restoration yoga, meditation, rituals and freshly squeezed juices.

House rules

If you’re lucky enough to get a room, you must comply with the three core values of Killing Kittens: privacy, confidentiality and discretion.

This means you cannot reveal the identity of anyone else at the sex parties on board and you mustn’t harass, abuse or harm anyone.

Other rules insist partygoers must not misrepresent their relationships with anyone, past or present. Honesty is key, so if your wife is with you, don’t pretend she isn’t.

Other than that, you’re all set to embark on a hedonistic weekend.

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