Dorothy Jean was in her care home, lying on her bed surrounded by cushions and blankets, when she asked her granddaughter Jessica Anne an earth-shattering question: ‘Are you here to clean my room?’
The 28-year-old’s heart snapped – her nan could no longer remember who she was due to vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s. Feeling like her world was caving in, with no chance of happiness in sight – Jessica Anne, who is also known as Little Jess, decided to capture the moment on video, and it changed the pair’s lives forever.
Jess posted the video on TikTok, with humble hopes of finding others who relate. Neither she nor her 93-year-old grandma could predict they would go on to help 1.8 million people understand dementia on their TikTok account ‘Little Jess & Nan’.
‘When I shared it online, millions responded with their own stories of heartbreak, confusion, and love,’ Jess tells Metro. ‘That response showed me how many were suffering quietly, and I decided to keep posting. If our videos could help one person feel less alone, then it was worth it.’
The pair’s TikToks show the realities of dementia, and their most popular video has reached 19.8 million people.
Dorothy Jean is bedbound now, often believing she is the age of a toddler, calling Jess ‘mum’ and recollecting her school days. On some days, she is content – others, she’s angry and will scream at Jess to leave.
‘I will always protect my nan’s dignity,’ Jess explains. ‘The videos are cut down and edited, and there are moments of sadness, distress, and personal care that I will not share online.’
The videos originated to help Dorothy Jean’s family cope. Her four children – plus 14 grandchildren – documented their interactions with the 93-year-old for the family group chat to give updates on her well-being.
‘It meant it wasn’t as scary to see nan in that way,’ Jess explains. ‘It encourages people to visit, and shows you can have meaningful and joyful conversations with someone with dementia.
‘When my nan first got diagnosed, she was afraid of forgetting her life. We always documented our time together through photos and videos, so we continued to preserve our memories this way.’
When Jess started posting the videos online, her family were nothing but supportive – they knew how much their nan wanted to support others throughout her life, and now, she was helping around the world.
‘You forget how to walk, talk, and swallow’
Dorothy Jean started showing signs of dementia in 2017. She became lost in conversations, and said her brain felt like ‘fog’ – when people would speak to her, she’d struggle to recall the conversation just moments after. Almost nine years later, Jess still remembers how ‘scary and awful’ that time was.
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On one occasion, the grandmother asked Jess’ boyfriend to introduce himself almost 50 times in an hour – although she’d seen him just two months prior. Not long after this, her symptoms worsened.
Jess recalls: ‘My nan would walk around the house she’d lived in for years and not know where her kitchen was. She’d put things in the microwave and not remember. She’d also wander off, and it was becoming very unsafe.
‘At this time, I didn’t have much awareness about dementia, so I didn’t realise there was also a physical element. You forget how to walk, talk, and swallow.’
In this time of confusion, Jess turned to the charity Alzheimer’s Society.
‘After nan’s diagnosis, it felt like we’d hit a brick wall. But Alzheimer’s Society were amazing. Any small questions you have like “I can’t get my mum to eat her food,” they will give you the most incredible advice.’
Toward the end of 2019, Dorothy Jean went into a home – but this has not stopped her loved ones from enjoying every second of her company. She has always been the ‘heart of the family’, having hosted her infamous Christmas party with games, talent shows, and a top-notch Christmas dinner (that she still speaks about, even now).
‘She has always been funny and quick-witted, and even with dementia she’s never lost this,’ Jess laughs, recalling her nan’s sassy moments. ‘My grandad isn’t here anymore to back himself up, so she’ll constantly make jokes about him out of nowhere.
‘She’ll ask, “Have you seen Arthur today?”, and I’ll say, “No, what’s he up to?”, and she’ll reply, “He’s down the bloody pub again!” To me, that’s just hilarious, and I’ll miss that when it’s gone because that’s just my nan.’
According to Jess, that’s what their TikTok posts do best: prove that life with Alzheimer’s is still joyful.
She explains: ‘A lot of people have found my platform to be an outlet where they’ve opened up with their own experiences and related to ours. But it’s also been so helpful for us, because we’ve got some great advice. It’s such a wholesome community.’
From her followers, Jess has discovered ‘amazing’ £5 fidget blankets which can help keep dementia patients’ minds engaged, as well as rinse-free cleansing wipes so they don’t have to shower or bathe.
However, one vile side of the internet has reared it’s ugly head with cruel trolls creating AI deep fakes of Dorothy Jean – these fake videos of Jess’ nan have her speaking in an American accent, and claim her dementia is cured.
‘It’s just heartbreaking because that’s not what I ever chose to share with my nan. I didn’t want it to ever be taken in the wrong light.’ Jess says sadly. ‘But me and my followers always report it. Most people are supportive, apart from the odd one.’
Look through Jess and Dorothy Jean’s comments and you can see how much their videos are helping. People recall their own grandparent’s journey with dementia, as well as feel inspired to visit their own grandparents and take tips on how to communicate with people suffering with the disease.
Jess, who is supporting Metro’s Lifeline campaign in support of Alzheimer’s Society, finds that by jumping into her nan’s ‘dementia world’, rather than trying to put her into reality, DorothyJean is most at peace.
Dementia and Alzheimer’s is not easy to navigate, and it’s changed Jess forever, she adds. There has been the ‘dramatically emotional’ moments she has said goodbye to her nan, thinking it was the end. But there is the everyday pain too – each time Jess walks into the care home, she must rebuild that connection with Dorothy Jean.
But with the help of her family, the care home staff, and her community, she stays strong.
‘My nan always gave to charities and put others first,’ Jess says with a smile. ‘If she knew how many millions of people she was helping, just by being her, she would be overjoyed.’
