I’ve experienced a depressing pattern of being sexually harassed in the workplace.
In an early job at a restaurant, when I was in my late teens, a male supervisor told me he wanted me to get down on my hands and knees and polish the base of the tables.
He wanted to watch, while I was wearing a skirt.
It wasn’t something we were ever usually asked to do, but I was so caught off guard that I couldn’t process it in the moment. I felt stunned and uncomfortable, but I didn’t feel like I could say no.
So I did it, regrettably.
Afterwards, I never spoke to anyone about what happened. I didn’t think that anything would actually change if I did, and I was more afraid of the fallout.
I didn’t want to risk getting on the manager’s bad side and then lose out on extra shifts or face worse treatment.
Unfortunately, I’m not alone. According to Young Women’s Trust, over a quarter of young women (26%) have had to put up with sexual harassment because they worry they won’t get the hours they need if they call it out.
I brought fish into the office for my lunch and an older male colleague walked past me and told me to close my legs
Worryingly, the charity also surveyed HR decision makers and 33% agreed that sexist behaviour still exists in their organisation. I have my own experiences of this – and even HR’s complicity in it too.
In a small office job I had once, a male manager would ‘joke’ about me giving him massages or about us making out in the back room. If this wasn’t bad enough, he even joked about having threesomes with the other women in the office.
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He’d wolf whistle across the room, make kissing noises, and act like it was all harmless fun. He’d say that I must fancy him because I was flirting by playing with my hair (but in reality, it was down to my ADHD).
Young Women’s Trust
Young Women’s Trust have launched a campaign calling for stronger rights at work for young women.
Right now, workplaces are far from fair – discrimination, being paid less than the minimum wage, and being paid less than men for the same work are still happening. The reforms in the Employment Rights Bill are a huge step forward but without stronger enforcement, it risks falling short of its promise.
Join their ‘Rights Here, Rights Now’ campaign and demand action.
It was relentless. He even suggested that I break up with my boyfriend at the time and be with someone like him.
Even the HR manager made uncomfortable jokes about wanting women in the office to wear shorter skirts. One of the worst things I experienced was when I brought fish into the office for my lunch and an older male colleague walked past me and told me to close my legs.
Instantly, I was taken right back to my time at the restaurant; stunned, speechless, and helpless. But, once again, I said nothing.
I tried to speak to other members of management about the behaviour – including female managers – but I was told that’s ‘how things were’, not to let it get to me, and that I’d get used to it. It was all labelled as a generational thing.
So I never spoke up again because I was made to feel like I was being ‘too sensitive’ or ‘easily offended’. I was used to feeling like the problem, especially with my neurodivergence.
After I left that office job, it destroyed my confidence for a long time. It took me over a year to get the courage to find work again and stop getting panic attacks, only feeling comfortable with temporary contracts.
As a result, I had no savings left and had to rely on Universal Credit to help my mum with rent. I was accustomed to being in my overdraft.
It’s sickening that this behaviour still exists and – worse still – is classed as acceptable.
I’m now campaigning with the charity Young Women’s Trust to strengthen our rights at work and put a stop to the unfair, unsafe, and illegal behaviour that I faced.
As part of this campaign, I attended Downing Street with four other young women, calling for the Chancellor to make sure that the plans set out in the Employment Rights Bill to combat this unacceptable behaviour are fully resourced.
We didn’t end up getting to speak with the Chancellor, but it’s not often you get to go behind the gates of Downing Street, so I felt incredibly lucky to be able to deliver our important message.
Change is so desperately needed. And we need to see action to truly make a difference to people’s lives.
Especially so young women feel empowered enough to speak up to male managers using their power and privilege against us.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing James.Besanvalle@metro.co.uk.
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