I can clock the moment I knew smoking had ruined my life.
I was lying in bed, wheezing and rattling like a broken engine, my mouth tasted like a pub gutter, and my 25-year-old fingers were yellow. I had officially given up.
It was 2021 and I’d been smoking over 10-a-day since I first lit up as a lost teenager looking for a personality.
Let’s just say after a decade of smoking, there was nothing remotely cool-girl about it. I felt like a slug and resolved to quit.
It was the moment I realised that actually, despite previous misconceptions, smoking was decidedly uncool.
So I’m worried that now, one of pop’s biggest names – Charli XCX – seems determined to make a cigarette this summer’s hottest accessory.
The Brat queen created a cultural movement behind a luminous green banner – and sadly I’ve come to realise that cigarettes are synonymous with it.
The way she’s doggedly glamourised such a dangerous act for a legion of impressionable followers is unforgivable.
The Von Dutch hitmaker’s wedding to The 1975 drummer George Daniel this weekend saw her handing out a tray of cigarettes on a silver platter for guests.
It’s all very grim, and a bit 80s.
Frankly, in stark contrast to being cool, I think that smoking in 2025 is the biggest try-hard act of them all. It stinks of tar and desperation.
When I see Charli lighting up a cigarette on stage, I feel sorry for her.
She’s one of the biggest, most exciting global megastars on the planet. Brat is genius. Her songwriting is world-class. I love the confidence she instills and inspires in her female fans.
She is a rockstar.
So why does it feel like she is still so desperate for social clout? What is she trying to prove? I would never judge her for an addiction, of course. I was that person once too. But that is not what’s happening here. She’s using cigarettes as a glamorous prop.
‘It can be like, so trashy,’ she said last year, describing Brat. ‘Just like a pack of cigs and a Bic lighter. And like, a strappy white top with no bra.’
She’s explicitly telling fans smoking is Brat. And that’s not right.
Thankfully, when I stopped smoking through huge mental anguish, I came out the other side armed with wisdom and hope.
I used cigarettes to try and fix a little insecure crack in my self-esteem. But they only exacerbated the problem, ripping it into a gaping hole, as I leant on them to make me feel whole.
The more I smoked, the more I was left wanting. I was a slave to addiction. I felt tired the whole time, feeding my anxiety with more anxiety, like throwing petrol on a fire in the hope it will stop. I was sluggish, useless, and depressed.
My self-esteem took a punch every day when cigarettes began to repulse me, but I would smoke them anyway, again and again, chasing the first-of-the-day high.
Without the right support network, I could have easily sank deeper into an ashtray of slobbish self-hate and depression.
So why are we allowing cigarettes to be romanticised so easily? They can be mentally and physically damaging.
I’m too old and wise to be lured in by Brat aesthetics now. Being cool and clinging onto trends becomes less important when you have a strong sense of self.
I did initially love the album, and the vibe. But what I thought was a euphoric celebration of unapologetic self-expression is turning into an uncomfortable, and unhealthy, watch.
32-year-old Charli may also be older and wiser than her legion of party girl followers.
I’m sure her tongue is in her cheek, somewhat.
But where is her sense of responsibility for her fans?
While Brat was a much-needed festival of female hedonism, I am also conscious that many teens who latch onto Charli’s wild persona could be vulnerable.
They could be like I was: Never content, always looking for a party and the fastest dopamine hit, and desperately insecure.
A movement like Brat with a charismatic figurehead like Charli could be the gateway for many young people to take up smoking.
It’s not just Charli peddling this dangerous smoking trend.
I’ve seen Dua Lipa many times this summer reclined on some European pavement with a cigarette dangling out of her mouth. Addison Rae and Sabrina Carpenter aren’t helping either by featuring cigarettes in their videos. Matty Healy is an infamous stage-smoker.
The forced rockstardom of it all feels dated and embarrassing.
Quite the contrary of giving off a devil-may-care aura, a cigarette when you’re 32 feels like the most blatant indicator that you care so incredibly deeply about what people think, that you’re willing to risk your life for it.
Charli XCX said Brat will never die. But right now, it’s wheezing its way into an early grave.
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