Your wedding is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, but for a quarter of brides, it actually proved to be the most stressful.
From invites to vows, the to-do list can feel daunting, while the pressure to get it all right (even if it is self-imposed) only adds to those pre-wedding nerves.
To overcome the overwhelm and ensure you stay on track, it’s a good idea to break your plan into smaller, more manageable tasks, including clear deadlines so you know when each one needs to be completed.
And on that front, we’ve got you covered, with an ultimate timeline, with input from industry experts, of exactly what to do and when.
Although this schedule is based on the average engagement length, which studies put somewhere between 12 and 24 months, you can tailor it to fit your situation.
Some suppliers get booked up well in advance, so if you have less time than this, it’s a good idea to prioritise the ‘non-negotiable’ stuff – like the venue, the catering and the guest list – as soon as possible.
Once the fundamental elements are locked down, you can focus on the finer details — and as any married couple will tell you, this part is a lot more fun.
There are also plenty of things you may not want to include in your big day, so don’t worry yourself thinking you need personalised decor, a bespoke dress or flowers on every surface.
It’s all about creating an event you and your guests will enjoy; one that you’ll remember for the right reasons. But if you need a steer on what to prioritise, this will give you a pretty good idea.
12+ months before
Set a budget
Before you consider anything else, you need to sit down with your partner and (honestly) assess your financial situation.
‘From this point, you can determine how much you can realistically afford to spend without going into unmanageable debt,’ says Anel Andrew at MoneyPlus. ‘Just be sure to remember to be realistic about your income and expenses, and factor in any existing debts you may be dealing with – both as a couple and independently. And once you have a figure in mind, stick to it!’
Make a guest list
Your budget will determine many of the other things on this this, including how many guests you can afford. These days, intimate weddings are becoming more and more common, as people understand the expense involved in a wedding.
Regardless of numbers though, you need to make a list of everyone you’d like to invite. And if you’re struggling to narrow it down, Samantha Gilchrist, owner of The Gilchrist Collection chain of event venues, recommends splitting it up into an A, B and C list.
She explains: ‘The “A” list is day guests, who you just couldn’t see yourself getting married without. List “B” should consist of evening guests, who you would love to have in the day and could be included as a day guest if someone declines.
‘Finally, list “C”; people who you wouldn’t mind if they were unable to come or who are acquaintances. This can be people who you know will bring the fun and you would love to invite if your venue allows you to have unlimited evening guests. List “C” can also act as a bank of people to invite if other guests decline to make up numbers.’
Choose a venue
Once you’ve gone through the venues in your chosen location, make a shortlist of the ones you can afford and can see yourself getting married in — then, it’s time to research and get in touch.
Emily Andrew, owner of eponymous bespoke wedding and events company in Norfolk, says it’s vital to be meticulous at this stage.
‘Look at their website, brochures, social media accounts, read testimonials, any blogs they feature in,’ she tells Metro. ‘Which suppliers frequently work there? Do all these aspects add up to your ideal venue or does anything feel misaligned? How have they communicated with you? Have they been efficient and prompt? All good signs for easy planning!’
She also highlights the importance of trusting your gut instinct, adding: ‘I think it’s like buying a house; if you don’t get that feeling then it’s not the one!’
If you can, try to be flexible on dates. Being open to ‘sometime in spring’ rather than a specific Saturday in May gives you a better chance of snagging a venue with limited available, while off-season or weekday weddings are often far cheaper.
Hire an officiant
According to Emily, it’s a good idea to do this alongside booking your venue, as ‘unless you know what sort of ceremony you’re going to have, you may be missing out on some great venue options.’
If you’re having a religious ceremony, it’s a good idea to start this process now too, as certain faiths require marriage preparation and official approval before they can confirm your date.
Book essential vendors
In some cases, catering and bar services will be provided by your venue. However, if you’re organising this separately, it should be a priority. Since most companies have bespoke pricing, it’s a good idea to spread the net wide and get as many quotes as possible, then lock in your chosen supplier so you know guests will be fed and watered above all else.
Beyond this, you should start researching and contacting suppliers for other major aspects of the day ASAP. These will depend on your plan, but may include:
- Photographer
- Videographer
- Content creator
- Band
- DJ
- Makeup artist
- Hair stylist
- Florist
- Wedding coordinator or designer
‘Many couples wait too long to book critical vendors like photographers or DJs, only to find out their top choice is already booked,’ comments Lauren Chambers, founder and owner of Direct My Day.
And on the topic of photography specifically, Samantha notes: ‘Before I owned wedding venues I was a wedding photographer, and let me tell you they book up fast!
‘Working with a photographer who is going to immortalise your wedding day forever is something you want to get right. Spend time looking at portfolios and social media and make a decision with your partner on how you want your day to be remembered — then get that deposit down! You don’t want to be left with your second (or third, or forth) choice.’
Select the wedding party
Not only is choosing your bridesmaids, groomsmen and other important people fun, it ensures they have plenty of notice to prepare (and save up if necessary). Some people choose to ‘pop the question’ with gifts, but a heartfelt card or letter can be just as meaningful.
Get wedding insurance
As soon as you’ve paid your first deposits, comprehensive wedding insurance is a must, covering your losses if you need to cancel or if a supplier fails to fulfil their commitments.
Salman Haqqi, personal finance expert at money.co.uk explains: ‘It also protects against damage or theft to your wedding attire, gifts, cake, flowers, and may cover the cost if you have to retake your photographs or if you have a problem with your wedding cars.’
Send save the dates
For wedding designer Maria O’Neill, who runs Maria Elizabeth Designs, it’s a case of ‘sooner, the better’ here.
This timeframe gives guests a head start to make travel arrangements, book time off work, and arrange childcare if needed, with ample notice proving especially important if you’re having a destination wedding or your date falls during a particularly busy season.
6-12 months before
Decide on the aesthetic
What do you want your wedding to look like? Do you have a theme, colour scheme or general vibe in mind? How do you want your guests to feel on the day?
Maria asks her clients to create a Pinterest board with all sorts of non wedding-related images that catch their eye, which gives her a feel for the kind of look they’ll prefer.
She explains: ‘Pin things that are to do with your interior aesthetics. Pin things that are from, for example, branding campaigns. Also, pin still images from films that you really like, because that allows me to understand, okay, you’re a person who really likes Pride and Prejudice and Jane Austen, so you’re really into that romanticised, dewy morning vibe.’
Book accommodation
If your venue doesn’t include wedding night accommodation for you and your partner, lock this in now. You may also want to reserve local hotel rooms for guests — some will offer a discount for block bookings.
Start dress shopping
While off-the-peg or high street dresses are a good option for budget-conscious or time-poor brides, boutiques typically order each gown in specially. It can then take months for it to be made and shipped, with an even longer lead time if you opt for a custom design.
But whatever you choose, you’ll likely need to factor in time for alterations, so the sooner you get the dress sorted, the better.
Create a website and gift registry
‘Ideally, you should create your wedding website around a year before your wedding date,’ says Hitched editor Zoe Burke. ‘This gives you plenty of time to share key details now while still having flexibility to add updates as your plans evolve. Starting early also helps keep guests informed and excited about your big day.’
Reserve rental items and book additional vendors
From napkins to marquees, hire companies can provide all sorts of items for a showstopping event. However – particularly if your date is in peak wedding season – certain things get snapped up fast.
At this point, it’s also a good idea to line up suppliers for ‘non-essential’ services; extras couples sometimes have on the day include photobooths, audio guestbooks or performers for the drinks reception.
3-6 months before
Book transportation
There’s no obligation to have fancy wedding cars, but unless you’re driving yourself or staying at the venue the night before, you will need some form of transport.
Don’t forget to consider guests’ travel either. A coach or taxis between your ceremony and reception (if they’re being held in different locations) can avoid faff, while some couples lay on transport at the end of the night.
Order the cake
Bakers are inundated with orders during wedding season, which makes ordering in advance necessary. This is even more imperative if you have a specific baker in mind or your cake design is particularly elaborate.
Even if you go for a high street cake maker or are getting a loved one to do the cake, there’s no harm in sorting it now and ticking it off your list.
Sort out wedding party attire
Coordinating the preferences and sizes of multiple people is often more difficult than you’d imagine. Like with the bride’s dress, wedding party outfits may need alterations, so it’s worth buying them with a few months to spare.
Have a hair and makeup trial
There’s a reason stylists and makeup artists recommend trials, and that’s avoiding stress on the day. Maybe you’ll need hair extensions to achieve your desired look, or you react badly to certain products — none of these are things you want to deal with hours before you get married.
Start crafting DIY items
Leaving DIY decor to the eleventh hour is always a big mistake — come the week of the wedding, the last thing on your mind will be drying flowers for confetti or hand-painting pallet signage.
From here on out, keep a couple of evenings a week free to work on any crafts you have planned. And if you’re struggling to get it all finished as the day approaches, call in reinforcements to help.
Order and send invitations
It’s now time for invitations.
‘People in the States send their invitations out literally weeks before they get married, whereas here in the UK, we will always send them out about six months before,’ says Maria.
She recommends a short RSVP deadline of a few weeks, as it gives guests a sense of urgency in replying. Alternatively, if people have months to get back to you, ‘they’re definitely going to forget.’
Buy wedding bands
You’ll probably be feeling a mix of nerves and excitement in the lead-up to your nuptials, but this will strengthen the latter. Plus, in the flurry of admin and logistics, it’s a nice thing for you to do together, remembering what this day is all about.
2-3 months before
Write vows or speeches and select readings
Like buying the wedding bands, this task intensifies the true sentiment of a wedding: cementing your commitment to your partner.
Compared to vows and speeches, elements like the decor pale in comparison, so don’t rush writing them. These words should be meaningful, personal and well-considered — even if you aren’t a natural public speaker, people will remember the effort you put in.
Have your first dress fitting
Hopefully your dress will have now arrived, meaning you can see how it fits and give your seamstress enough time to make any required alterations.
Buy wedding party or family gifts
Although this isn’t essential, it can be nice to thank your closest people for their help, whether that’s with a bottle of wine, a piece of jewellery or a bag of goodies to ease their hangover the following day.
Give musicians a song list and give photographers a shot list
Speaking exclusively to Guides For Brides, wedding content creator Mel Bunn recommends going through the list of photos you want to capture ahead of time.
‘Be clear and concise about what you want,’ she says. ‘Communication is key.’
In terms of songs, Emily adds: ‘Think about the key moments when you need music and pick a track for each one. If you’re playing music on your phone, a top tip is to set up specific playlists for each part of the wedding with only the relevant track on it, otherwise you could end up playing the wrong song at the wrong time!’
Design signage and on-the-day stationery
While designers will do their best to sort everything in a tighter timeframe, you don’t need to wait until you have every little piece of information to start this process. They can create welcome signs or table numbers ahead of time, and work on the overall look of items like seating charts before finishing up later.
Maria says it’s much easier to get in touch early, even more so ‘if you’re wanting things that are really personal like a bespoke illustration, or have an idea for a specific thing like a flower-shaped menu.’
Moreover, if you’re designing things yourself, you need to have everything ready with enough time for printing.
Chase RSVPs and finalise headcount
Many vendors will require a final headcount four to six weeks before a wedding, alongside the likes of menu selections and dietary requirements. So, chase slow repliers and warn them if you don’t hear back by a strict deadline, you’ll assume they aren’t coming — this normally helps speed things up.
The month before
Pay vendors in full
Some suppliers will also stipulate full payment be made around about this time, so check their contract terms and check that off your list.
Create a final schedule for the day
You’ve probably already discussed timings with suppliers, but now you know exactly what you’re dealing with, work up a final schedule for the day.
Include arrival times, when each element of the day will start and finish and where different people are expected to be during these times, then make a copy to send to each supplier and the wedding party. Although it’s unlikely your day will end up running exactly to the minute, it means everybody has a timeline to stick to.
Order signage
Now you have your RSVPs, you can confirm the logistics side of the seating chart, place cards, menus and ceremony booklets, either sending the information to your designer or inputting into your DIY design and getting them printed off.
2-3 weeks before
Break in your wedding shoes
Even flat shoes can be agony on the first wear. So put some thick socks on underneath and break them in around the house — even if it means doing the washing up in stilettos.
Have your final dress fitting
This is the best time for the last bridal fitting, leaving enough of a gap for last-minute fixes to be made if necessary. If not, you can bring the gown home!
Book a haircut, colour, and certain beauty treatments
Whatever you do, do not make any drastic changes to your hair or beauty routine in the run-up to your wedding.
It usually takes a little while to settle into a fresh hair colour or cut, so book a stylist appointment for around two weeks before the big day. To make doubly sure there are no surprises, going to someone you trust and providing clear instructions are key.
Keep in mind too, certain beauty treatments like dermaplaning or microneedling require downtime, and if you’re having lash enhancements for the first time, you’ll need to get them done a few weeks prior to the big day to test for sensitivities.
Extra items you may have forgotten
- Cake topper, stand and knife
- Guest book and pens
- Card box
- Confetti
- Guest flip flops/umbrellas/sunglasses/glow sticks
- Place cards for the table
- Printed menus
- Toiletries like painkillers, period products, wet wipes and antacids
- Items for an outfit emergency like a stain remover pen, sewing kit,and safety pins
The week before
Nails and tanning
A manicure or pedicure will last about two weeks before regrowth begins to show, but having your nails done the week before means they’ll still look fresh and you have time to fix any issues.
Opting for a spray tan? Ideally you should have a trial in the months prior to get the shade right, with Treatwell experts recommending the actual wedding tan be applied two to three days before for a natural glow.
Organise items being brought to the venue
Decorations, a bag for the wedding night (or honeymoon if you’re leaving straight after, and day-of essentials: it all needs to be packed and ready to go to the venue.
Much of this stuff is probably being stored in different parts of your home, so go around and get what you need, check nothing is missing, and put it all together. You may also want to sort things into labelled boxes for easier setup.
Call vendors
A quick call with your main suppliers to check everything is going ahead as planned can set your mind at ease. And if there are any issues, at least you know now and can prepare accordingly.
24-48 hours before
Write your partner a letter
Even if you’re not doing the traditional ‘staying apart the night before’, it can be nice to share a special message with each other on the morning of your wedding. The day itself will be a blur, but writing – and reading – some personal words will be a core memory to treasure.
Get the venue set up
In some cases, the venue’s wedding coordinator will sort the decor for you, but if you’re doing it yourself, you’ll likely have a set timeslot a day or two before.
Preparation will make all the difference in how smoothly this goes, so consider making a plan that shows exactly what goes where (perhaps with pictures showing how different elements should look).
Collect rental outfits
Hired suits and kilts will now be ready to pick up, meaning you’ll have everything you need for the big day.
The day/night before
Drop final items off at venue
If you didn’t go to the venue to set up, now’s the time to drop off anything you might need for tomorrow.
Go through the schedule
Your closest people will hopefully have already looked through the schedule you gave them, so this is really just to make sure everyone is on the same page.
And finally…
Eat well, get some sleep, and get ready for a great day.
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