Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.
This week we’re talking to Carla*, 38, who is straight and lives in London.
After almost giving up on love, a chance encounter while on holiday in the British Virgin Islands (BVI) led to romance.
Carla was sunbathing on the beach when local tour guide Daniel*, 38, offered to show her around.
The chemistry was instant and a one-night-stand led to something more. Now the pair are embarking on a long-distance relationship, with Carla flying out to the Carribbean every few months.
She tells Metro: ‘It was so unexpected. I haven’t been in a long-term relationship since my early-30s, and I was pretty much resigning myself to the fact that I’d be single forever.
‘But from day one, we both knew this wasn’t just a holiday fling. When I came back home, we were FaceTiming every single day, and we naturally fell into a relationship.
‘I was nervous about telling people as it’s all a bit cliche – a white woman and a man from the Carribbean – but people have been supportive.’
So, without further ado, here’s how Carla* got on this week.
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Monday
Financially, Daniel can’t afford to come to the UK – but to be honest, I’m more than happy to visit him in the BVI, it’s paradise.
I do all the body admin before I leave: pedicure, manicure, eyelash lift, and I get a full body wax – facial hair, armpits, full Hollywood and thighs. I’ve probably spent about £250 before I’ve even left.
Daniel picks me up from the airport armed with food – he knows I’ll be hungry, but also it means I can eat in the go, so we can have sex as soon as we get to his.
We rip each other’s clothes off and do it in missionary, which is our go to position.
It was quick – which it always is the first time we see each other. I notice that Daniel hasn’t bothered to do any manscaping down there, and I roll my eyes thinking about the effort us women always put in.
After a break, who do it again. We start with missionary, but Daniel loves doggy. He’s massive though, so we have to build up to it.
Tuesday
Daniel’s taken the day off so we can spend time together. We wake up, and before saying a word to each other, we’re having sex.
Later, he asks if I want to go for a walk ‘somewhere private.’ He knows I like having sex outdoors, and even though he finds it’s a little nerve-wracking, he’s willing to indulge my fantasy.
We go to a secluded beach, and have sex in the sea. I feel like I’m way more flexible in the water – I can bend in ways I never knew I could!
We come home and have sex a few more times. The sex is quite loving now, where as the first few times are a bit more feral.
Wednesday
We wake up and have sex again in the morning. I’m realising I much prefer sex first thing – I get too sleepy at bedtime.
We’re doing it so often but I don’t feel sore down there, as I’m always so turned on by him.
Daniel drops me off at the beach while he’s at work. Sometimes I can be here from 9am to 5pm – I while away the time reading or scrolling on Instagram. It isn’t until Daniel picksme up though that I realise I’m terribly sunburnt. I’m literally red raw across my chest, belly and legs.
He gets a cold flannel to soothe my skin, but it’ was’s drying out within a few seconds because my skin is so hot. He quite rightly suggests we shouldn’t have sex so as not to irritate my skin anymore.
As we fall asleep, I think about how lucky I am. It might sound like the bear minimum, but just a few months ago I couldn’t imagine that there was actually a kind, thoughtful man out there who would want to take care of me like this.
Thursday
Daniel takes me to a different beach this morning – before he leaves, he insists I sit under an umbrella all day. My skin is blistering now which once again is putting a stop to any sex.
That evening, I think about offering to give him a blow job, but I’m too lazy.
Our relationship isn’t all about sex though. We have great banter, he makes me laugh so much, and most importantly, he thinks I’m hilarious (which I am). It’s always been so easy between us.
Friday
I wake up and my skin is still really sore. There’s a part of me that feels quite panicked. I’ve flown all this way and I want Daniel to feel some love from me.
I don’t think our relationship is dependant on us having sex – I know it’s deeper than that – but after years of dealing with men who lie, cheat and are emotionally unavailable, it’s hard to break those thought habits.
So, I initiate sex. We had to go very gently, but it feels loving and I’m glad we had that moment of closeness.
After my day at the beach he picks me up. We have a routine where we come back home and shower together. It’s always fun and Inevitably, this leads to sex again.
If I’m honest, I don’t really like shower sex. I hate the confined sex and I always feel like I’m going to slip and break something. But he loves it and after the outdoor sex the other day, I’ll do this for him.
Saturday
I wake up with a strong desire to pee, and immediately feel that familiar sensation of cystitis. F*CK. This always happens when I have a lot of sex after a dry spell.
Last time I came to see Daniel in the BVI, I took some herbal tablets every day that were recommended to me by a friend who also suffers with cystitis. Obviously, this time I forgot them.
Daniel doesn’t quite understand what’s going on, but he’s very sweet and takes me to the pharmacy. I’ve been drinking as many litres of water as possible, and I’ve been peeing in the sea which is somehow less painful.
Tonight we come home, shower and have sex again. It hurt, but I’m horny.
Sunday
I still have a touch of cystitis but it feels much better today.
We have sex in the morning, and again when we get home. Then that night I have a special request: I want him to wake me up with sex.
It’s a fantasy I’ve had for a while (as long as it’s totally consensual, of course). I’m vaguely aware in the night of Daniel starting to finger me, and I’m instantly ready for sex.
We shag in missionary, with a bit of spooning sex thrown in, and when we both finish, I instantly fall back to sleep. Heaven.
It’s that time of the trip where I start to feel that knot in the pit of my stomach, as I know there’s only a few days left before I have to leave him to go home.
There are always so many tears, and I hate not knowing when I’ll see him again.
We’ve been together for less than a year, so it’s too early to talk about relocating. If we lived in the same city, we wouldn’t be talking about moving in together.
It’s hard, but I trust Daniel 100%. I want a future with him in it, we just don’t know what that will look like yet.
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