Donald Trump jets into Scotland today on a visit which is ‘private’, according to White House officials.
Yet despite that label, he nonetheless intends to make you – the British taxpayer – foot an expected £14million bill.
So here’s my suggestion: Starmer should shake the man’s hand and then pass on the invoice.
It’s simple. If the President of the United States wants to make a personal pilgrimage to his luxury golf resorts in Scotland, he’s free to do so.
But if he wishes to take advantage of our stretched to the limit public services so he can fund his circus during an onslaught of budget cuts, crumbling infrastructure, and exhausted police officers, then he can forget it.
The bloke’s a billionaire! He can afford it. He should pay his way just like any other showman on a world tour.
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Trump’s relationship with Scotland has always been strained, at best.
Long before he was President, long before the MAGA hats, indictments, and the endless motorcades, he was already deeply unpopular here.
His expansion of Menie Golf Course was met with fervent opposition from residents. Local farmers were threatened with forced purchase orders.
And there’s that glorious moment comedian Janey Godley welcomed then-candidate Trump to Scotland in 2016 by holding up a banner that read: ‘Trump is a c**t’?
This time around, we’re being told his visit is unofficial, yet our leaders are queuing up to meet him. Starmer is to be flown up to Aberdeen to reportedly ‘refine’ a recent US-UK trade deal.
First Minister John Swinney says he is meeting the President to ‘protect and promote the interests of Scotland’. I think the interests of Scotland are protected by billing Trump for police overtime, airspace shut downs, motorway closures, and operational disruption the visit will entail.
After all, we’re continually being reminded there is ‘no magic money tree’. Chancellor Rachel Reeves is already warning she will have to make tough decisions (aka tax rises) in the next Budget again.
And yet there’s nothing tough about the decision of politicians to block their diaries and drain the public purse to accommodate a man who is extravagantly wealthy and extravagantly divisive.
Trump does not need to be welcomed with sycophantic deference. Trump needs to be welcomed with boundaries.
Because the minute you give him an inch, he’ll take the whole fairway. Just ask Cole Palmer, after he intruded on Chelsea’s Club World Cup trophy lift by seemingly refusing to move away from the spotlight.
This OAP day out is a horrific incentive for a man whose name is much on everybody’s lips when it comes to mayhem, corruption, and conspiracy. Epstein anybody?
For a man under investigation for mishandling confidential documents and whose election has been based on authoritarian campaign rhetoric.
When you think about it, Trump will probably respect being charged.
He’s in the WWE Hall of Fame for a reason – he loves conflict.
So what better way to earn his grudging admiration than to stand up for ourselves, rather than grovelling?
Our squeamish politicians need to stop bootlicking.
Presidential away days never come without that hefty price tag, even when it’s not a proper state visit like this one.
Trump’s last trip to the UK in 2018 cost the taxpayer £14.8 million, which was partly used for his jaunt around Turnberry.
His four day visit saw thousands of police deployed, mass protests in Glasgow and Edinburgh, and a security operation of such size as to be comparable with that of a conventional state visit.
This time also shall not be any different – perhaps worse, considering he has become even less stable.
Scotland Police has already confirmed that this is a ‘complex’ operation, with extra resources being pulled from across the UK. That, alone, is dozens of precious hours our brilliant officers can’t spend solving real crimes.
A place where his name is emblazoned in gold letters on our landscape, despite sensational disapproval and ongoing concerns about how much these properties are contributing to the economy.
We shouldn’t dismiss the views of you and me, too.
Everybody gets what he represents: division, authoritarianism, and a transactional politics in which loyalty is bought through economic self harm and truth can be junked.
So why are we, as a country, so keen to appease him? We can respect his office, without the costly symbolism.
If the PM wants to demonstrate strength on the world stage, it will not be from photoshoots alongside Trump on an exclusive golf course. It will be from treating him as what he is – an elderly grandpa on a private getaway.
We need to be serious about financial prudence, we need to be serious about valuing our public services, and then we start by asking the most glaring question of all: why on earth are we spending millions to go and fetch the world’s most powerful tourist?
So go ahead and shake the man’s hand if you must, Prime Minister. But then, after he hops back onto Air Force One, send over the invoice.
Make it clear: the UK won’t pick up the bill for foreign billionaires.
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