In one clip, she rubs his neck. In another, he holds her hand. If you’ve been following the Fantastic Four press tour, you might have noticed: Vanessa Kirby and Pedro Pascal seem very comfortable around each other.
Fans have certainly picked up on it. Clips of the two actors, laughing, leaning towards each other, and being warm and affectionate have racked up thousands of views and sparked plenty of comments online.
‘Why is she rubbing him like that?’ one person asked. ‘Actors are so touchy-feely, I’ll never understand,’ another person added.
From playful teasing to hands-on moments during interviews, people are definitely intrigued by the dynamic.
Although, to be clear, there’s no indication of anything romantic going on. Vanessa is reportedly engaged to her boyfriend of two years, Paul Rabil, and is expecting a baby.
Still, it has sparked a wider conversation about what is classed as too far in a friendship and why some people are more touchy-feely than others.
Are touchy-feely friendships a thing now?
Affectionate friendships might be under public debate at the moment, but according to chartered psychologist Dr Melanie Phelps, there’s nothing overly concerning about them.
Physical affection between friends can be a sign of closeness, trust and emotional safety, she says – and it can even have health benefits.
‘Physical touch stimulates the release of oxytocin, which induces trust, reduces stress and improves mood,’ Dr Melanie tells Metro.
‘Studies show that affectionate touch can lower cortisol levels, decrease blood pressure and improve emotional resilience.’
For some people, a hug from a friend can be just as regulating as a deep and meaningful chat. ‘It can create feelings of belonging, soothing and emotional safety, acting as a buffer against loneliness and social disconnection,’ adds Dr Melanie.
Why are some people more touchy than others?
Like many things, it often stems from childhood, specifically attachment styles.
Dr Melanie explains: ‘People with secure attachment styles, typically developed through consistent, nurturing caregiving in early life, tend to feel more at ease with physical closeness, as they associate it with safety and connection.
‘Those with avoidant or anxious attachment styles, however, may associate touch with threat or discomfort.
‘And those on the autism spectrum tend to have over- or under-sensitive nervous systems, which means while some may prefer strong, deep hugs and lots of physical affection, for others the opposite will be true.’
But don’t worry if you’re not comfortable being touchy with your friends. While Dr Melanie says that affection can reinforce feelings of closeness and intimacy, she adds: ‘The strength of a bond isn’t solely dependent on touch; shared values, emotional support, communication and mutual respect are just as vital.’
Some people prefer verbal affirmation or quality time over physical touch – it just comes down to preference.
Okay, but can physical touch ever cross a boundary in friendships?
Yes, especially if it’s non-consensual, too frequent or creates emotional confusion.
‘Even well-intentioned touch can become problematic if one person feels pressured, objectified or confused by it,’ Dr Melanie says.
‘Power dynamics can also affect how safe or appropriate touch feels. The urge to respond or match the level of physical affection can mean pressure and discomfort.’
Understandably, a tactile friendship might make a romantic partner feel threatened too, particularly if their own love language is touch or if there’s a lack of trust.
That doesn’t mean touchy friendships are automatically inappropriate, says Dr Melanie, but it does mean some open conversations about boundaries and reassurance might be helpful.
Touch doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone. For some people, it’s how they express love and affection. For others, it’s something private or even overwhelming.
You (or your partner) might feel a friend has crossed the line, but they might be absolutely mortified at the suggestion. To get things back to a touchy level everyone is happy with, the psychologist recommendshaving an open talk, making it about you, not them.
She explains: ‘Using ‘I’ statements helps avoid blame (e.g., ‘I’ve noticed I feel a bit overwhelmed when we hug so often; can we talk about that?’). It’s important to affirm the friendship while setting boundaries, as this reinforces that the discomfort is about personal needs, not a rejection of the friend.’
There’s no one ‘right’ way to show affection in a friendship, but understanding how you and your friends relate to physical touch is worth a conversation.
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