Around 28 million people in the UK purchase items from second-hand platforms* such as Depop and Vinted – but it turns out that not everyone is simply out to snag a deal.
As a seller, you might think you’re just clearing space in your closet, but there is also a chance you might actually be being used to satisfy someone’s fetish… And I think it may have happened to me.
As my FYP filled with spring-cleaning motivation a few weeks ago, I decided to give in to my algorithm’s influence and part ways with those neglected pieces in my summer wardrobe.
On a long weekend, I’d set myself the task of listing my rejects on the preloved site Depop. With a camera roll full of mirror pics and a freshly stocked profile of listings, I was amazed at the hidden cash (over £500) I’d been hoarding on hangers.
Within three hours, A notification ping interrupted my thoughts. I’d received a message about my red leather bikini top — used, but in great condition — and posted just a few hours ago. It came from a user named Sarah, who asked me to clarify if, when and where the item had been worn. I sent back a friendly response, and minutes later, the payment of £30 came through.
Wiped from playing dress-up but determined to maintain my five-star rating, I hoisted myself off the sofa, secured the goods in a mailing bag, and handed the parcel and QR code over at my local drop-off.
It wasn’t until I arrived home that the penny (and my stomach) dropped — but it was too late. If Sarah had made the purchase, why was the label that had been attached to it in store addressed to a Michael in the Midlands?
Maybe the line of enquiry regarding the used condition of the item wasn’t as innocent as it seemed. Had I just sent my used intimates to a fetish miner?
I’m not alone
Fetish mining is a form of sexual exploitation where abusers request or manipulate others into creating content for their kicks without their knowledge or consent.
Online marketplaces are playgrounds for this type of activity, as direct messaging makes it easy for individuals to request photos and ask questions that feed their fetish under the guise of buyer interest.
Sites like Depop and Vinted have previously acknowledged the issue and assured users that they are committed to improving their response and raising awareness, with both stating they have a ‘zero-tolerance policy’ andclaim to act on any inappropriate and/or sexualised content or behaviour that contravenes community guidelines.
However, sellers fear many miners are operating covertly, concealing their nefarious intentions and identities by posing as innocent customers just after a bargain.
That £30 transaction now sat like a stain on my bank statement — the receipt of postage, a token of my naïvety. I know and respect that the business of consensually flogging worn lingerie is highly profitable, but the idea that I could have been tricked into the trade made me feel violated.
Hoping to be proven paranoid, I took to social media — but to my outrage, I was met with threads of other sellers, all sheepishly confessing they’d fallen victim to a similar fate. It seemed one woman’s trash really is another man’s pleasure.
‘To return it, I’d have to give them my address’
Lauren started selling her old clothes on Depop when she was 15 and, since 2020, has been reselling on Vinted. She tells Metro that dealing with fetish miners has become part of the job.
‘It’s rife. They start off asking questions people might ask when they’re looking to buy — and then it turns,’ Lauren explains. ‘There’s probably been multiple items that I’ve sold to people that have had an ulterior motive.
‘I was selling a men’s Adidas sports top. This guy was asking me for my bra size and actually ended up buying the item. I look back and I don’t know what he was doing with that. Why was that necessary?’
Lauren is concerned about protecting her privacy and outlined the loopholes that buyers often exploit: ‘If they wanted to return it, they’d then get my address. I’ve had people find my Instagram and go through my profile, telling me I look hot.
‘You’re trying to do the most to sell your item, but if I’m wearing it, then I’ll get weird messages. Vinted is something that I really enjoy, but I don’t put my face in [photos]. I’m conscious of the background as well, trying not to expose myself.’
Sometimes they pretend to be women
Another user, who asked to remain anonymous, shared a similar story: ‘I posted myself in this really nice dress on a preloved site. I received questions [from a buyer] to engage me in the conversation.Then suddenly she said, “Would you be able to send me some underwear with that — or some tights?”
‘I thought she was asking what to pair the outfit with, but it was actually a man who was messaging the whole time.’ The seller only found out their true identity after digging through the buyer’s profile and reading reviews from sellers they had previously purchased items from.
Alongside recounting their startling realisation, this user wants buyers shopping for a fetish to be honest and ask for sellers’ consent. ‘It’s one thing to ask someone if they are interested. It’s another thing to trick someone into it by pretending to be someone else,’ she says. ‘You don’t know if they’re just buying a gift for someone. It can be quite difficult to discern, especially as you don’t know who you’re sending to until you print the label off – it’s a complete invasion of privacy.’
‘It’s almost like a power play’
There was a relatable feeling of doubt and confusion expressed by those who had shared their experiences. All sellers can do is trust their instincts and lobby platforms to investigate questionable profiles. I intended to subtly raise my suspicions with my bogus bikini buyer — only to discover their profile had been swiftly deleted, which worsened my fears. I ended up closing my account too, creeped out and conflicted by the ordeal.
The sad reality is that, beyond reporting suspicious accounts on the site, it seems victims are left to sit in frustration and shame.
Sites like Kinkie and All Things Worn exist to provide a space for individuals to purchase items that fulfil their fetishes. These platforms are built on mutual understanding and respect, ensuring that transactions are consensual.
However, Sex Educator and Kink Practitioner Alice Lovegood explains that it is often cheaper and easier for people to gain satisfaction through unsuspecting sellers on second-hand sites. She tells Metro: ‘If you have a specific shoe fetish, you can put in the type of shoe and size. Fetish sites aren’t as well organised.’
Curious to do a bit of market research, I went for a scroll on All Things Worn and spotted a pair of seriously lived-in women’s UGG slippers that had already sold — for £100. Intrigued (and somewhat inspired), I hopped over to Depop, set the filter to ‘Used — Fair with obvious signs of wear’ and found a near-identical pair going for just £10. At a tenth of the price, it’s easy to see why second-hand marketplaces are proving so popular with miners.
Alice also feels that there isn’t enough education around fetishes, which can land participants in hot water and leave others open to exploitation.
‘It’s such an overpowering experience, and it has so much shame attached,’ she explains. ‘Sometimes it’s almost like people are in this imaginary world when they’re engaging their fetish and don’t necessarily understand the repercussions.’
Despite this, Alice is keen to remind users that this type of behaviour is unacceptable. ‘It is never okay to engage someone in a sexual experience without their consent or to force someone into your fetish. For some people, it’s almost like a power play,’ she adds.
‘It’s the same as people who flash in your DMs. A part of it is them getting off on the shock. You shouldn’t have to worry about the possibility of being fetishised when you’re using a preloved site.’
Under the radar
In December 2024, it was reportered that nearly 24 million Brits** are selling items on second-hand marketplaces, making an average of £146 per month. So, how many of those users have been duped into an exploitative sale?
Understanding the scale of the issue is challenging, as it’s nearly impossible to verify or police buyers’ intentions — particularly if they are hiding behind a fraudulent username to gain sellers’ trust.
For now, the simple reality is that you could be a victim too — and never even know it.
*Evri, **Virgin Media O2 Business
