Cristiano Ronaldo fans worry for fiancee’s shoulder after receiving ‘comically big’ engagement ring

Cristiano Ronaldo is officially engaged to Georgina Rodríguez – and almost certain to spend the rest of his days with her as there’s no conceivable way he can break free from the sheer gravitational pull of the rock he’s put on her finger. 

If NASA ever needs a new orbital anchor, they now know where to look.

Georgina broke the news on Instagram with a romantic snapshot of the couple holding hands in bed, with her left ring finger sporting the diamond.

It’s hard to tell if there are actually hands in the picture because the view is mostly obstructed by a diamond so massive it may have its own weather system and possibly a small, uncontacted tribe living on the far side.

Her caption read: ‘Yes I do. In this and all my lives.’ Which is fitting, because that’s exactly the sort of ring an emperor would be buried with to ensure they took it with them in their next reincarnation. Visitors to the Ronaldo household ought to be weary of Indiana Jones-style booby traps. 

Ronaldo, 40, finally popped the question to his long-time partner, 31, two years after Saudi authorities politely pretended not to notice the couple shacking up without a marriage certificate, which is illegal in the country. 

Perhaps Ronaldo figured now was the perfect time to propose to the mother of his five children (she is the biological mother of two of them): he’s older, wiser, and presumably has an accountant who finally signed off on the insurance premiums for that thing.

The ring itself is an oval-cut diamond flanked by a three-stone platinum design, as if the main gem – roughly the size of a Ring Pop candy – requires two smaller, deeply anxious bodyguards on either side. And they’re going to need backup. 

Experts estimate the central stone is between 25 and 30 carats, worth up to $10million (£7.4m). One jeweller told Elle the double-claw setting ‘keeps it secure,’ which is important as you wouldn’t want it rolling off the nightstand and flattening a nearby village.

Naturally, the internet has questions: Did Ronaldo have to remortgage one of his superyachts? Was the diamond ethically sourced, or pried loose from a Bond villain’s volcano lair while ominous music played? Will Georgina need physiotherapy to lift her left hand without tearing her rotator cuff?

One X user, @bettingkingz9, joked: ‘It’s the iceberg from the Titanic!’ Harsh, but fair – though in this case, Leonardo DiCaprio wouldn’t have frozen to death; he’d have been blinded instantly and staggered into the sea.

Another, @cotina23, wrote: ‘That thing definitely has the soul of a vengeful demon inside,’ while @br0046 simply chimed in: ‘She’s going to have shoulder problems lugging that around.’

Facebook users had similar sentiments, with Rosie Vasquez commenting: ‘That ring is comically large.’

Karen King said what we’re all thinking: ‘I’d be struggling to lift my hand with that massive rock on my finger.’

Paul Devlin compared it to the infinity ring in Avengers: ‘Thanos gonna be calling to get that back!’

One Reddit user wrote: ‘Thoughtful, it’s an engagement ring and a weapon.’

Rumours of an engagement began swirling when Georgina was spotted flashing an unusually bright diamond in public. The couple played coy at first, with Ronaldo previously explaining the timing wasn’t ‘quite right’ – despite the couple sharing multiple children and nearly a decade of dating. 

Regardless of your thoughts on the ring, love is now officially in the air – along with the blinding glare of a diamond visible from three continents. 

If you’re unsure whether you’ve spotted it, just look for the sudden loss of mobile signal caused by its atmosphere. Or follow the faint sound of sirens as sunlight bounces off them and ignites nearby trees.

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