Hearing other people have sex is just one of the perils that come with house sharing.
But this Metro reader hasn’t just heard some muffled sounds from beyond an adjoining wall — he walked into what looked like a full-blown porn movie being filmed in his living room.
The most awkward part? He’s living with his older brother and his girlfriend. And after accidentally stumbling across the scene, which he thinks was for an X-rated site, he can no longer look them in the eye.
Read the advice below, but before you go, don’t forget to read last week’s Sex Column, about a woman who discovered her husband has a secret child.
The problem:
I’m a 17-year-old lad, currently stressing over something my friends find funny, but I find pretty gross.
Basically, I recently walked in on my brother having sex with his girlfriend — it wasn’t just ordinary sex either, it was more like something you’d see in a porn movie, and they were actually filming it. I quickly shut the door but he came after me and we had this ridiculous argument, with him standing there naked.
Until a few months ago I lived with my parents, but my mum was driving me mad and we ended up having a huge row. That’s how I come to be living with my brother (32, by our dad’s first marriage) and his partner, who I normally get on great with.
On the night in question, I was meant to be staying with friends, but due to a mix-up there was no bed for me and I came home. Obviously, my brother thought he had the place to himself, so when I walked into the living room, I got the shock of my life. I think he and his girlfriend did too. He asked me why the hell I went in when I could hear something was going on, but I was listening to music through my earbuds!
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My brother said that he and his girlfriend like watching their home movies back but they don’t post on any websites for others to watch. He obviously only said that to make me feel better, and it hasn’t made a huge difference. I used to really like it here, but now I feel so awkward I can hardly look at them.
The advice:
I can see that you have really taken this to heart, but truthfully, I’m struggling to see what the problem is. Your brother and his girlfriend thought they were alone, had wild sex and filmed it for their own entertainment. What have they done wrong?
Maybe you have always looked up to him and what he’s done has damaged your perfect view of him. I’m guessing that sex doesn’t play a full part in your life at the moment, and that’s why this has hit you so hard. He’s older and more experienced, and what he’s done is no different to what many other people do – and you may do too, when you reach that stage in life.
You’ve already fallen out with your mother, so don’t let this cause a rift between you and your brother too. Look on it this way – it’s great that he and his partner are happy, loving and sexually adventurous, because that’s what makes them the people they are and why you liked living with them. They probably feel as mortified as you over the whole incident.
Try to be more understanding and accept that what you saw was just a private moment that you were never meant to share. Your friends are right to see it as no big deal.
Have another chat with your brother and just acknowledge this episode for what it is – an embarrassing moment, which you’ll all move on from in the fullness of time.
Laura is a counsellor and columnist.
Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to Laura.Collins@metro.co.uk.
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