My date said he ‘adored me’ then uttered another woman’s name

‘I’m looking forward to the Christmas break, Nadia’, my date Luca* said, immediately grimacing and closing his eyes.

I paused and looked over at him – the handsome man who I had just enjoyed a gorgeous dinner and conversation with – in disbelief. 

My name is not Nadia.

‘Who’s Nadia?’ I asked quickly, but he didn’t open his eyes.

Instead he giggled nervously before changing the subject to the music playing on my speakers, evading the question entirely.

My mind raced: Was Luca dating a ‘Nadia’, or was it an honest mistake? A Freudian slip, perhaps?

That’s when, six weeks into dating Luca, I realised things weren’t as great as they seemed.

We matched on Hinge in autumn 2023. I’d been single since the summer, after my relationship of four years finally broke down – though, truthfully, it had been over long before that – and finally felt ready to date again.

I didn’t want a fling though. I was ready for something serious, with someone who was the opposite of my ex. Basically, I was not looking for a tortured artist.

So, I made myself a promise: I was going to date intentionally. 

Based on his photos, Luca was an outgoing, good-looking, well-travelled professor, with a lust for life. I got good vibes. 

It didn’t take long for him to arrange a date for later that week and I was genuinely excited to meet him IRL.

We met outside the university he taught at, which I thought was a little lazy but when he turned up, all negative thoughts immediately left my brain.

He was cute, wearing the biggest grin and his aftershave smelled divine. 

We wandered to his suggested pub and as the evening sun shone, we enjoyed getting to know each other in the beer garden.

Turns out we had a lot in common: we had both lived in Berlin at the same time as part of our degrees and even our exes were both Brazilian, which explained why we could both speak German and Portuguese.

‘I hope we see each other again,’ he ventured with a smile. I wanted to, so I instantly replied ‘I do too’.

As we walked to the underground, Luca arranged our second date and cheekily asked how I felt about learning Spanish, his mother tongue – things were looking good.

Over the next six weeks, Luca swept me up with romance: well-planned dates, a pet name and a promise of a winter trip to see the Northern Lights after Christmas.

When my birthday rolled around, Luca was adamant he’d be the first to celebrate so he took me out to a gig at jazz club Ronnie Scott’s the night before.

It was a fun-filled, flirty and tipsy night and when the clock struck midnight, he proclaimed he adored me. I was on cloud nine and told him I really liked him too.

As far as I could see, there was nothing to worry about. Even my friends were encouraging and commented on the green flags – like how Luca’s attention and cute messages were consistent, how he remembered things I had said in passing and was generally thoughtful. 

Has anyone ever called you by a different name? Have your say in the comments belowComment Now

Things were going well… until they weren’t.

On what would be our final date, Luca came round for dinner at my place and was talking about his plans to visit his family at Christmas. It was at that point in the conversation that he accidentally called me Nadia.

Suddenly I recalled a conversation from the previous week where he’d asked me if I was dating anyone else. When I replied no and echoed his question, he also said no. I’d felt assured we were on the same page, but now, the doubt crept in.

However, as a part of me just wanted everything to be okay, I decided to ignore the error. I accepted the change of topic and laughed it off. 

He stayed the night as usual and nothing felt off. And the following morning, he kissed me goodbye and said, ‘see you soon, Anya.’

Later that day though, when I messaged to ask how his week was looking for a date, he left me on read.

After two days of silence, I got the hint and archived his chat. I never heard from him again.

I’d been ghosted before, but this time I was confused. Even my friends struggled to explain the sudden change in his behaviour. 

The only obvious explanation was that Luca was indeed seeing someone else called Nadia – which is awful considering he told me he wasn’t dating anyone else – and that he preferred her.

I just wish he could have been upfront about it. 

Luckily, the experience didn’t deter me from dating and I ended up meeting my partner on Hinge at the end of that same year.

Not only does he always keep his promises – we visited Finland last year and I finally managed to see the other-worldly Northern Lights – but he never gets my name muddled. And really, isn’t that just the bare minimum?

*Name has been changed

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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Has anyone ever called you by a different name? Have your say in the comments below