Charlie Sheen is celebrating his 60th birthday and looks back at his wild past of addiction, drinking, and moving forward with forgiving himself. The Two and a Half Men star sat down with People and admitted that he’s “feeling pretty good” after years of rehab and getting back on track.
While Sheen is a notable star in Hollywood, his career was muddled with tabloid scandals and stories of his spiral into drugs and alcohol. Looking back at those early years of his career, his hard partying and substance abuse occurred out of fear. Fear that the money and fame would go away.
“There was always that voice of doubt, that it was only a matter of time before it all went away, so to enjoy it as heartily as you can,” said Sheen.
With a further rise in success, Sheen’s addiction ventured into harder drugs like cocaine. Many can remember at least a few stories of the actor who made headlines. Sheen reveals that he had a set of house rules when it came to his parties.
“At my parties, I always said, ‘Park your judgment at the door. No pain in the bedroom. And no one can die,'” he explained. “Those were good rules.”
Even now, he says that a relapse into drugs would surely kill him. Sheen got clean in 2017 because he wanted to be a good father to his children, one they good rely on. The actor explains that to start the journey to recovery, “You have to be willing.”
“I keep a [mental list] of the worst, most shameful things I’ve done, and I can look at that in my head if I feel like having a drink,” he said.
While admitting that he has more days behind him than in front of him, he’s more concerned with learning to forgive himself, having spent his 50s apologizing. For Sheen, forgiveness is still an “evovling thing.”
“I still get what I call the ‘shame shivers.’ These are the moments that hit me, of the heinous memories and choices and consequences. They’re getting farther in between, so I guess that’s progress. What has been interesting about making amends is that most people have been like, ‘Hey yeah, we’re good man, but we hope you’ve also forgiven yourself,'” said Sheen.
Sheen hopes to return to acting, but is taking it slow, one day at a time. He calls living for the next moment a “reset.”
