I want to preface this piece by saying that I’m a long-standing fan of Jeremy Clarkson – from his time on Top Gear and the Grand Tour, to his now endearing Clarkson’s Farm.
But his recent column in The Times has ground my gears (pardon the pun).
Apparently, he has considered banning customers with food intolerances from his pub, The Farmer’s Dog, after one woman allegedly claimed she’d been given beer instead of cider which made her ill. This, according to Clarkson, was later proven to be untrue.
He wrote: ‘Food intolerance enthusiasts will claim after they left that you poisoned them and that you must now give them 50,000 of your pounds.’
Oh, and he finds people with food intolerances ‘annoying’ apparently.
Well, news flash, Jeremy: if you own a pub it’s your job to cater to your customers, and if they have an intolerance, it’s your job to cater to that, too. You can’t set up a restaurant but discriminate against people because of something they can’t change.
This isn’t about trying to attract a certain crowd through a dress code or price list; telling me I’m not not welcome because of circumstances beyond my control.
As someone with coeliac disease, my body attacks itself if I eat gluten, and walking into a pub is hard enough without knowing that someone dislikes me because of a condition I was born with.
Do you know how exhausting it is to need staff to walk me through what is and isn’t safe for me to eat (if they even had proper training on allergies and intolerances, which many haven’t), their kitchen processes, and put my health in their hands?
It’s exhausting, and public rants like Jeremy’s that shame people with food intolerances only adds to that. I feel like a burden when I simply don’t want to eat something that could make me sick and even increase my risk of cancer.
Even after all that effort I’m forced to go through, just to enjoy a meal out with friends or family, I’ve still been poisoned multiple times by pubs and restaurants alike.
I’ve fallen ill after a popular Italian chain fried my gluten-free calamari in a contaminated fryer, meaning I was stuck in a shopping centre toilet for an entire hour, hurling my guts up.
Another establishment stuck a wafer in my gluten-free ice cream, while another fancy restaurant served my gluten-free macaroon on a bed of pearl barely.
I’ve never once asked for money from any of these places, even though I should have. It shows a disregard for customer safety, and a lack of understanding regarding diners’ needs.
But hey, I don’t want to cause a fuss at the risk of being labelled ‘annoying’.
I know when I’ve been poisoned within 30 minutes of eating gluten, with unpleasant symptoms coming on. And I’m sure I speak for everyone with an intolerance or allergy when I say the only place you want to suffer the sickness is in the comfort of your own home.
Of course, if I ate at Jeremy’s pub and knew I’d been poisoned, I’d be more than happy to stay there and throw up in front of everyone just so he knew I wasn’t trying to fool anyone – to prove the only annoying person is the one who had made me sick.
Ultimately, Jeremy’s comments are a cheap shot at the 30% of the UK population with a food hypersensitivity, 2.4 million of whom have a clinically confirmed allergy.
In fact, this disregard for people who can’t eat ‘normal food’ is tiring – do you think we choose this life of constant judgement from others? All I want is to fly under the radar and eat in peace.
I’m no stranger to people’s distaste for my requirements. I’ve been labelled a ‘red flag’ and a wimp by men because of my allergies when I was single and on the dating scene – god forbid a guy had to check the restaurant had a gluten-free option. I’ve been dubbed ‘high maintenance’ and a ‘health freak’ by other ignorant people who believe my lifestyle is a choice.
So what, Jeremy – you felt someone tried to scam money from your pub, and you didn’t pay out. It’s a non-issue. What’s next? If a vegetarian says you served them meat when you didn’t, will veggies also be on the no entry list?
I wouldn’t be surprised if this turns out to be another Clarkson joke as he plays to his gallery, but after seven years of being the punchline, I’ve stopped laughing. That’s not to say I’ll stop enjoying Jeremy’s programmes because, unlike him, I don’t hold a grudge.
But demonising millions of people because of the alleged actions of one is overkill, and making us feel unwelcome is not funny.
This whole drama makes me sad, because I’d been so keen to go and try The Farmer’s Dog after following its story, opening on Clarkson’s Farm. I think the concept of using produce from only British farmers is great and it looks like a stunning pub.
So some simple, ‘not annoying’ advice Jeremy – you’ve made something great; don’t let your bitterness over one woman’s supposed lie, deprive people like me of the chance to come and enjoy it.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk.
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