A weekly ‘porn night’ helps keep my relationship alive

‘Let’s try taxi porn,’ said my boyfriend, Alex, as he peered over my shoulder at the laptop. 

We were naked in bed together with the lights dimmed and we should have been halfway through having sex by now.

There was just one issue: We couldn’t settle on what to watch.

I had spent nearly 10 minutes frantically clicking on different types of porn, trying to find something suitable – but nothing seemed to fit.

Exasperated at the lack of good options, we decided to go rogue and chose a category at random – which is what brought us to taxis.

And although that particular genre of adult entertainment didn’t do anything for us, we wanted to stick  to our new tradition of couples porn night. 

This ritual all started following a row.

About two months prior, my boyfriend and I had a sit-down chat about some of the niggling issues in our relationship.

This time, I felt that our sex life had fallen into a routine. It wasn’t bad by any means, but it had become a bit predictable, so I was keen to shake things up a little.

And thus, our weekly ‘porn night’ was born.

The premise was simple: Every week, we’d choose a day where we watched a filthy film together.

It felt naughty and new, and it didn’t really matter if we had sex or not as a result.

The only issue was, we hadn’t really organised anything beyond the time and place – and during that first run, we quickly realised that ill-planned logistics can ruin the mood pretty quickly.

Now, I am not here to judge anyone’s sexual preferences but taxi porn wouldn’t be in my personal top 10 list. 

Spoiler alert: They shag in the back of the cab – surprise, surprise.

But Alex and I were on a mission and we couldn’t find anything better, so we kept the film on in the background and turned our focus back to each other.

This probably won’t surprise you but the sex wasn’t our best.

There was a bright glare from the computer that bothered me, our movements were slightly off and the subpar porn just seemed to make it all feel a bit seedy.

About 15 minutes in, I called it quits and suggested we get some snacks and watch a movie – the non-adult kind – instead.

‘That sounds great,’ Alex replied with a relieved smile.

It wasn’t the night we’d planned. Nevertheless, we are both stubborn people – so a few weeks later, we gave it another go.

This time, we came better prepared.

Earlier that day, we had randomly been talking about swinging – not for ourselves, a friend of ours had tried it – when Alex said he was intrigued by the idea of exploring this in porn.

As someone who has been to sex events and seen this lifestyle in action, I was eager to lead the way.

Porn night 2.0 was a smashing success, letting us live out a fantasy without ever wanting to do it for real. 

I can’t pinpoint exactly what changed, but I’d say it was the anticipation.

The first time, we had simply decided to watch porn to see what happened. Whereas during round two, talking about what we wanted to view beforehand made the moment sexier.

I was turned on because of Alex’s curiosity and he in turn was intrigued by the newness.

I am very comfortable in my own skin and in my relationship, so trying something new with Alex is usually pretty easy.

It also wasn’t entirely out of the blue for us.

Earlier this year, I asked Alex to choose porn for me to watch by myself during masturbation – with very surprising and fun results – but this more recent experiment was more about us bonding together over something new as a couple.

But if the idea of watching porn with your partner feels intimidating to you, I get it.

I’ve had experiences in the past that were so unsuccessful, I was put off watching adult content altogether for a few years.

But if you’re both willing to keep an open mind, it can be great fun.

Would you introduce a regular ‘porn night’ in your relationship? Have your say belowComment Now

Be mindful that the majority of porn is still made for the male gaze – so avoid overly aggressive or less mainstream categories unless you are 100% sure that you will both enjoy it.

Women are more likely to stay quiet if they feel uncomfortable in a sexual situation, so check in with your partner and discuss boundaries.

How you set up porn night is entirely up to you – every night, every week, once a year – but don’t feel bad if you end up rescheduling now and then. Life gets in the way, just as it did for me and Alex.

We cancelled porn night twice over a four-week period – once because I’d had some bad family news and wasn’t horny, and once because he was tired from work and would rather eat takeaway and hang out.

But it might come back – and Alex recently suggested that we watch porn on the sofa and stream it on our flat screen.

I’d be game – but no taxi porn again. Ever.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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