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Are you doppelgänger dating? Here’s why it happens to us all

2 weeks ago New York State Comments Off on Are you doppelgänger dating? Here’s why it happens to us all

Many of us have a type — whether it’s blonde hair, somebody who makes us laugh, or both. Sometimes we may even consistently connect with somebody we know isn’t right for us. Forces of attraction can feel quite mysterious, and when we start to notice a pattern in the people we’re dating, many of us want to know what it means. (Picture: Getty)
Modern dating suggests we should be searching for someone who totally gets us, who slots into our busy lives perfectly. They might like the same bands, or prefer staying at home to going out. But what if the reason your new partner fits in so neatly is because you’re…dating a doppelgänger of an ex? (Picture: Getty)
So, why is it so common that we end up dating somebody who looks like our ex? It seems a little contradictory — surely there was a reason that we broke-up in the first place? But according to psychologists, there may be an evolutionary reason why you keep seeking out the same ‘type’. (Picture: Getty Images)
Think about it, if you were in love with somebody, it makes sense that subconsciously dating somebody who feels similar – whether in looks or personality – might be comforting. Perhaps it goes beyond a type; it’s more of a psychological reflex to seek comfort. Another reason that our exes might feel similar to our new partners is that we choose our partners from a similar pool. They’re colleagues, friends of a friend, or people doing the same hobby, so it is likely they will have a similar level of education, political outlook or personality. (Picture: Getty Images)
Yoobin Park, a social psychologist, has studied these patterns, looking at the personalities of exes and current partners of 12,000 people over nine years, who were quizzed following break-ups and new romances. In Park’s study, the dater, their ex and their current partner all scored similarly on these personality tests, showing that we choose people from a similar pool. It doesn’t exactly equate for why they may look incredibly similar – but there’s no accounting for taste. (Picture: Getty)
This also explains why there is a, slightly worrying, trend of noticing how closely alike some couples tend to look, let alone their exes. It’s even got a name: the theory of assortative mating. The idea is people are often attracted to faces and bodies which resemble their own due to finding comfort in familiarity. People with similar looks are also more likely to occupy similar social spaces and, weirdly, matching physical traits can signal shared genetics or family background, which biologically suggests compatibility. So we don’t just have to worry about dating a carbon copy of our ex, but also a carbon copy of ourselves. Shudder. (Picture: Getty Images)
When speaking to the HuffPost on the topic, professor of psychology and the director of evolutionary studies at the State University of New York at New Paltz, Glenn Geher, explains: ‘So this form of ‘demographic sorting’ creates couples who will be — and often look – similar to each other.’ (Picture: Getty Images)

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