LOTTIE Tomlinson has candidly opened up on her “never-ending” confidence battle after losing her mother.
After having her first child, the 26-year-old influencer noticed her cosmetic procedures had “got out of control” and has since had her lip and cheek filler dissolved.
Now, the mum-of-two has explained that she first turned to cosmetic treatments after “losing her confidence” after her mum Johannah Deakin’s death in 2016.
The sister of One Direction singer Louis Tomlinson believes her mum, who died at the age of 43, “sugarcoated” her diagnosis and never realised “how bad” she was until near the end.
Revealing all to Giovanna Fletcher on a recent episode of the Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast, Lottie acknowledged that becoming a mother herself has since changed the way she views herself and has given her confidence back.
Reflecting on the past, when she would restrict herself in a bid to be slimmer, Lottie said: “I felt like it was making me happy.
“Losing the weight and feeling slimmer definitely made me feel better in myself.
“But in terms of the fillers and the beauty treatments, it was just a never-ending thing of trying to catch up with yourself.
“And, like, when you lose someone as close as your mum, it affects your confidence a lot.
“That’s something I never expected, because if you think about it, your mum is the one person that cheers you on, that loves you unconditionally, that’s there to give you that reassurance and support.
“So when you lose that, you kind of lose that confidence in yourself.
“So I think I was constantly chasing, trying to find that confidence, thinking I would find it in these fillers and how I looked.”
Johannah had seven children – Louis, now 31, Lottie, 26, Félicité, who died at the age of 18, twins Phoebe and Daisy, 21, and twins Ernest and Doris, 11.
Johannah’s death prompted Lottie to move home to Doncaster to look after her younger siblings with her grandparents.
Not only was Lottie battling the loss of her mother at the time, but just three years after Johannah’s death, Lottie’s sister Félicité Tomlinson lost her life following an accidental overdose, after she took a fatal concoction of anti-anxiety medication, cocaine and painkillers.
Before the double tragedy, Lottie was working as a make-up artist alongside her friend Lou Teasdale, and by 2015 she was on tour with her brother Louis’ band One Direction.
Seven years after her mother’s death, Lottie gave birth to her first child, a boy named Lucky, two.
Then, in January 2025, Lottie, who has been described as a “stealth entrepreneur“, welcomed her second child, a now four-month-old daughter named Flossie.
Lottie shares both children with fiancé Lewis Burton, 33, whom she officially began dating back in August 2020 after meeting at a house party in May that year.
Discussing her pregnancy with Lucky, Lottie shared: “I was gaining a lot of weight… When I did have him, I was left four stone up.
I was constantly chasing, trying to find that confidence, thinking I would find it in these fillers and how I looked
Lottie Tomlinson
“My face was all swollen more because I had all the filler. That’s why I wanted to remove it once I did have him.
“Towards the end of the pregnancy, with the weight gain and the swelling, my face and my lips, everything had just blown up.
“I was like, ‘I can’t look like this’. And obviously, when you have a baby, your priorities change.”
Lottie also continued: “But I think what’s genuinely given me my confidence is having my kids, because you just realise that it’s not important.”
Despite this, she claimed: “I still like to look nice, I still like to get my hair done, but it’s not as important to me as it once was.
“I’m so comfortable now to just be in no make-up, have my hair up.”
Lottie’s mother Johannah died from leukaemia after she was diagnosed in 2016 when Lottie was just 18 years old.
Lottie Tomlinson career timeline
2015: Lottie worked as a stylist and make-up artist for her older brother Louis and his band One Direction during their On The Road Again Tour.
2016: Lottie became an ambassador for Nails Inc. and debuted a collaborative collection with the beauty brand. She also became the face of fashion brand Lipsy London. Lottie also worked as a make-up artist at London Fashion Week.
2017: She released her first book Rainbow Roots: #MAKEUPBYME, which featured 40 beauty tutorials.
2018: Along with Lou Teasdale, Lottie founded and launched the fake tan company Tanologist.
2019: Tanologist was launched in the US, appearing in stores such as Ulta and Target.
2020: Lottie became a brand ambassador for Sue Ryder’s bereavement support services. She also began working with fashion brands Pretty Little Thing and Asos.
2022: Lottie featured in marketing campaigns for Boux Avenue.
2024: Lottie launched her exercise and well-being app Verdure, which includes fitness and diet plans for users to follow at their own pace. She also released her second book Lucky Girl: Family, Falling and Finding My Way.
Lottie claimed her mum hid how ill she was to “protect” her children and when she did die, it was a complete “shock” to the family.
She added: “Looking back, she probably sugarcoated the situation because she wanted to protect us, which I understand.
“But then, when it came down to it, the last few weeks, that’s kind of the only time we kind of started to realise that she wasn’t going to be okay.
Towards the end of the pregnancy, with the weight gain and the swelling, my face and my lips, everything had just blown up
Lottie Tomlinson
“And so to lose her… it felt sudden. We had so much hope that she was going to be okay. And I think you’ve got to hold on to hope when someone’s ill.
“And she was so strong, she didn’t want anyone to know she was ill. She said she was going to fight it, and it was going to be okay.
“And so we’d take her word for that. And she’d always been right about things.
“So yeah, to lose her that suddenly was such a shock. And it’s like the centre of everything is gone.
“It’s like everything else falls apart and I feel like we’ve spent the last few years since it all happened, just trying to rebuild that.
“And it’s not been easy, but we’ve just stuck together as a family, and we’ve tried to look after each other.
“I think we’re getting there. We’re rebuilding everything. And it’s just sad that she’s not here with us.”
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