Although he’s widely known as the host of Late Night with Conan O’Brien, the popular comedian has also made plenty of waves with his podcast. Never one to bite his tongue while responding to fan questions, O’Brien quickly went viral on a recent episode of Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend during a live Q&A session for his take on “friendship red flags.”
O’Brien and the fellow hosts of Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend held a live segment where fans could pose their questions to the group. One specific question related to friendship green and red flags, and O’Brien’s response to what constitutes a “red flag” for him was hilarious, as you’d expect, but it was his new rule on “ghosting” that was a real surprise.
What Are Conan O’Brien’s Viral Friendship Red Flags?
O’Brien began his response to the topic comically by pointing to both green and red flags in friendships, with a focus on whether people know his work. He ultimately stated that it’s a “dealbreaker” if someone isn’t familiar with his career and work.
“Green flag? They’ve seen my work. They’re familiar with it,” O’Brien said. “They know the whole era. So, yes, of course, they know the late-night show, they’re familiar with The Simpsons episodes, even some of my sketches on Saturday Night Live, but they also followed me through the Turner years and are a fan of the podcast.”
And the red flags? Not knowing O’Brien’s “whole era” of work, of course.
“Red flag would be not really knowing the whole era,” O’Brien continued. “Maybe just being a fan of Late Night, but then losing touch, or just knowing the HBO Max show but not really knowing the stuff before that.”
The late-night host went on to respond to his steep friendship requirements by joking that he doesn’t “have any friends” while citing the name of his podcast.
“How do I have any friends? I don’t have any friends,” O’Brien joked. “The name of this podcast is Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend, and it’s real. I have since learned that it’s driven people away.”
O’Brien did admit that there’s one other significant topic that can earn a green or red flag, depending on how the situation plays out: being picked up or asked for a ride from LAX.
“A green flag, especially in Los Angeles: If a friend picks you up at LAX, that is a green flag!” O’Brien said. “It means they really care about you. We learned tonight from Bill Burr that it’s way too depressing at LAX.”
“But if someone asks you to pick them up at LAX and you’re not that close, or it’s not a long-term friend? That’s a red flag. Putting that on someone is like saying, “Hey, I have a wet couch on the 9th floor—can you help move it?” Why is it wet? No idea! But it happened to me!”
This was followed by the topic of communication, and it’s safe to say that the longtime comedian doesn’t agree with the modern definition of “ghosting,” leading to a pitch for a bold new rule.
The Outrageous ‘Ghosting’ Rule Everyone’s Talking About
The concept of “ghosting” primarily focuses on someone not responding to a text message in a timely manner, or at all. For O’Brien, however, his idea of a “timely manner” is vastly different than that of most people.
“Ghosting, yes! I know the term ghosting—that’s impressive for me. Ever since Benny Blanco slid into my DMs…” O’Brien joked, adding: “That’s how I do that—don’t do that!”
While he knows the term, O’Brien admitted that he’s not a fan of the expectation that someone should respond to a text immediately. Instead, he thinks there should be a new window before it’s considered “ghosting”—a seven-month window.
“But another thing: when someone sends a text, there’s this expectation you’ve got to respond right away. I don’t like that,” O’Brien stated. “I pine for the olden days, when someone wrote you a letter, you’d read it aloud and respond weeks later. Now people text you at 4 am [and] expect instant response. Criminal! I object!”
“I think you have a seven-month period to respond to a text. Until that seven months has elapsed, you have not ghosted them. Unless it’s time-sensitive, like ‘your eggs are ready,’ then maybe!”
Unfortunately, I don’t think O’Brien is going to receive much support for a seven-month grace period before not responding is considered “ghosting,” but you have to appreciate the unique outlook.
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