Dakota Johnson had bizarre asparagus murder dream about Glastonbury headliner – Bundlezy

Dakota Johnson had bizarre asparagus murder dream about Glastonbury headliner

Dakota Johnson smiles against a cartoon background of asparagus
Dakota Johnson has been having some seriously weird dreams (Picture: Getty)

Dakota Johnson confessed she had a really bizarre dream about one particular frontman involving asparagus and murder.

She revealed a Glastonbury headliner had recently haunted her dreams while on Amy Poehler’s Good Hang podcast.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t her (reportedly ex) boyfriend and five time Pyramid Stage pro Chris Martin — instead it was a veggie-morphing nightmare about Matty Healy.

‘I actually had a dream the other night,’ the Madame Web star laughed. ‘Matty Healy from The 1975 was in my dream and he was murdering people, and he was Matty Healy as himself.’

We’re not sure why the son of Denise Welch was on a killing spree, or who exactly he was enacting his fatal revenge on.

Dakota, 35, revealed this wasn’t even the weirdest part of the dream as the Somebody Else hitmaker had a really handy trick for avoiding capture.

ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA - JANUARY 13: (FOR EDITORIAL USE ONLY) Matty Healy of The 1975 performs onstage at the 2024 iHeartRadio ALTer EGO Presented by Capital One at the Honda Center on January 13, 2024 in Anaheim, California. (Photo by Rich Polk/Getty Images for iHeartRadio)
Matty Healy of The 1975 might be a secret asparagus (Picture: Rich Polk/Getty Images for iHeartRadio)

‘When the people were looking for him—they were cops maybe, he would turn into a piece of asparagus.’

To this, Amy burst out laughing and joked ‘so people just run past him?’ prompting a fine piece of acting from Dakota as she pretended to be an asparagus.

Well, that’s certainly one stage antic we’ve not seen from him so far but you never know when it comes to Matty, 36.

The 1975 frontman — who famously dated Taylor Swift in 2023 — wasn’t the only one becoming one of your five-a-day in Dakota’s mind.

‘I saw these two poles and a bed and I was like, “Matty?’” the Fifty Shades of Grey icon said. ‘The sheets came down and it was him as an asparagus and Angelina Jolie as an asparagus.

‘They were getting married, and they left in a helicopter together as asparagai. [sic]’

(Picture: Good Hang with Amy Poehler)
Dakota said Angelina Jolie turned up at one point (Picture: Good Hang with Amy Poehler)
(Picture: Good Hang with Amy Poehler)
Host Amy Poehler couldn’t believe what she was hearing (Picture: Good Hang with Amy Poehler)

Congratulations are in order then it seems for these asparagus-ified celebrities.

‘That is such a weird dream,’ responded Amy. ‘You might be getting too much sleep.’

Apparently Chris, 48, was incredibly supportive of this strange vegetable superpower and said the whole thing would make a good film plot.

The couple, who had been together for nearly eight years, have gone their separate ways as reported by an insider to People Magazine.

This mirrors intense speculation that they had broken up last year, but they swiftly squashed the rumors — neither have spoken about this split so far.

Despite this, the Yellow hitmaker gave Dakota a shout out at his June 1 show in California, telling the crowd to ‘Be kind to yourself, be kind to each other’.

(Picture: Good Hang with Amy Poehler)
Oh to be chatting about weird dreams with these two (Picture: Good Hang with Amy Poehler)
STANFORD, CALIFORNIA - MAY 31: Chris Martin of Coldplay performs on Opening Night of the US leg of Music of the Spheres World Tour at Stanford Stadium on May 31, 2025 in Stanford, California. (Photo by Steve Jennings/Getty Images)
Reminder that Chris Martin has headlined Glastonbury five times (Picture: Steve Jennings/Getty Images)

He then added ‘Don’t forget to see Materialists!’ which is the name of Dakota’s upcoming film.

Coldplay won’t be taking to the Pyramid Stage this year at Glastonbury… unless they’re Patchwork or another TBA (now there’s a thought).

However, The 1975 are set to headline on Friday night and while he’s not going around turning into a big green vegetable, Matty’s problematic behaviour has raised some eyebrows.

Here’s hoping Worthy Farm goes off without any controversial remarks from the About You singer — and without any asparagus.

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