They say trust is the hardest to earn and the easiest to lose. These wise words ring all the more true if your significant other has been cheating on you with another person.
It takes a great deal of strength to be able to forgive your partner for their infidelity. The thing is, though, it might not be easy for you to forget.
While it’s understandable to act like your romance has been restored to its pre-cheating glory, your lingering anger, frustration and sadness over the situation could make this impossible to achieve.
THESE SIGNS SHOW YOU HAVEN’T FORGIVEN YOUR PARTNER FOR CHEATING
If you haven’t forgiven your partner for cheating on you, it can manifest in various ways:
1. THE INTIMACY STOPS
Physical and emotional intimacy are among the fundamental aspects of a successful relationship, whether it’s kissing or opening up to each other in moments of vulnerability.
However, the mental image of your S/O having been intimate with someone else makes you feel overwhelmed and upset. As a result, you feel awkward and uncomfortable when you engage in intimate activities together.
2. YOU HATE IT WHEN THEY GO OUT
Couples may do everything together, but it’s also important to enjoy some “me-time”. Of course, the memories of your partner’s cheating may spark doubt when they head out either on their own or with their friends.
In other words, you fear that your better half will repeat their adulterous ways while out and about.
As such, you find yourself getting angry over their excursions, whether it be reacting to them with clipped remarks or closed body language or outright demanding that your partner keep you posted on their whereabouts until they return.
3. YOU RESENT THEIR FRIENDS
In the eyes of the cheated party, the fault of a philanderer also becomes the fault of their friends.
Because you’re still reeling from the pangs of heartbreak, you now view your S/O’s friends as the enemy. You tell yourself that they’re the ones who led your lover astray and into the arms of another. Or, you begin to believe that they knew of your partner’s infidelity – perhaps even condoned it – and that they intentionally kept it a secret from you.
If you ever find yourself acting dismissive, rude or accusatory towards your partner’s pals, then that means you’re still not over the situation.
4. YOU DON’T TRUST THEM AROUND ANYONE ELSE
Similarly, you don’t trust your better half being in the presence of somebody other than yourself (aside from their family, of course).
Indeed, the thought of them interacting with other people, whether it’s at a social event or mobile-texting, fills you with dread and insecurity. Your mind starts telling you that they’re flirting or looking for their next conquest.
In turn, you feel the need to dog their every move and monitor the messages on their phone.
5. YOU MAKE JOKES ABOUT CHEATING
Cheating isn’t acceptable in any relationship. On that note, making jokes about cheating on your partner is just as inappropriate.
Picture this scenario: you’re talking to your S/O, but they’re not paying attention. Annoyed, you sarcastically remark, “I bet I could find someone who actually loves me enough to listen to me.”
There are many worse jokes you can make, but the point still stands. If you feel a twinge of satisfaction in shaming your partner by making light of engaging in entanglements yourself, then you’re showing them that you haven’t forgiven them.
WHAT CAN BE DONE TO REMEDY THIS?
Relationships are built on trust, respect and communication. If you haven’t completely forgiven your partner for cheating – even after they take responsibility for their actions – don’t persist in holding it against them. Instead, you should try and rebuild your love together.
Both of you need to make a mutual decision to continue your relationship. This requires being honest, patient and open in your communications with each other. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a relationship counsellor to help ease the healing process along.
It will be challenging, but if you both put in the work, your relationship can be successfully salvaged.
WOULD YOU FORGIVE YOUR PARTNER FOR CHEATING ON YOU?
Let us know by leaving a comment below, or send a WhatsApp to 060 011 021 1.
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