Gen Z can’t stop shagging in public — and I’m one of them

For many people, bedroom antics are something that need to remain firmly behind a closed bedroom door. 

However, an increasing number of people are finding it difficult to be intimate with their partner at home, due to a lack of privacy.

New research has revealed that almost 40% of Gen Z in the UK are currently living at home with their parents or with housemates due to the cost of living crisis and struggling to navigate their sex lives as a result.

Not only are they having sex less (an average of 35 times per year compared to the national average of 68 times), they’re also getting creative about where they have sex – with some resorting to rather public locations. 

Lovehoney’s research found that 22% of 18 to 24-year-olds are having sex in bathrooms, while 18% are opting to do it in cars. 

It’s worth noting that it is illegal to have sex in a public bathroom, but when it comes to having sex in a car, it’s a bit more of a grey area. 

In the UK there aren’t currently any specific laws against having sex in a car, but if you are seen or overheard by others, or parked in a public place, it could then be constituted as indecent exposure or outraging public decency, which are both criminal offences.  

You also have to take in additional factors such as whether the car’s engine is on and if you are driving at the time as you could be charged for dangerous or careless driving if so.

Olivia is one of the youngsters currently struggling to balance her home situation and sex life.

The 19-year-old student splits her time between university and her parent’s house and finds it ‘uncomfortable’ to even be affectionate with her boyfriend when her mum and dad are home.

She said: ‘At Uni I live with flatmates, and while it’s a bit easier, it’s still awkward because there are always people in the next room. We have to put music on or keep the noise down, which takes away from being able to just relax and enjoy the moment. 

‘When I’m back home with my parents, it’s even trickier. My family is really close-knit and they’ll often just walk into my room when my boyfriend’s over and it instantly makes things feel uncomfortable even if we’re just lying down or hugging.

‘Because of that, we usually have to wait until really late, sometimes as late as 3am, to have sex, just to avoid the awkwardness.’

Olivia continued: ‘At the start we even tried hooking up in my car, because my parents stay up so late and it felt like the only option. It’s definitely better at Uni in some ways, because my flatmates are the same age and more understanding, but the lack of privacy is still an issue.’

She admits that she’s finding the lack of independence and privacy ‘frustrating’. 

‘I know when I graduate, I’ll have to move back home for a while because living alone is just too expensive – and moving anywhere near my parents in London is completely out of reach. 

‘It’s frustrating, because I’m an adult now, but living with parents or flatmates means you never get that real sense of independence or privacy in your sex life.’

Mahima Chaudrary, who lives with her mum, brother and partner under one roof feels similarly, admitting she often feels as if she’s not in a proper relationship because of her living arrangement.

The 25-year-old claims it’s hard to even hold hands in front of her family, let alone have sex.

‘Because of our living situation, my boyfriend and I hardly get proper quality time together. We can’t just cook dinner, watch a film, or be silly and dance around in our underwear – all the things that make a relationship feel fun and intimate – because there’s always someone else around,’ she says.

‘At home, even holding hands or cuddling feels awkward in front of my family. It’s only when we go on holiday that we feel like we can properly connect as a couple.’

How to still enjoy sex when you live with family or friends

Annabelle Knight, Lovehoney’s sex and relationship expert, has shared her top tips for reclaiming intimacy while living in a shared house:

1. Plan for privacy – Instead of waiting for the house to go quiet (which makes every squeak feel louder), look ahead to when parents or flatmates are out. Whether it’s a gym session, a night out, or visiting family, use that window to really relax and enjoy intimacy without stress. 
2. Don’t be afraid to talk about it – With flatmates, a bit of honesty can go a long way. You don’t have to overshare, but a simple, ‘Hey, can I have the place for an hour?’ is often easier than you think. With parents, it’s trickier, but even setting boundaries around personal space helps. 
3. Think beyond the bedroom – If opportunities at home are too few and far between treat yourselves to an occasional hotel stay or explore other places like your car – in a private space of course. 
4. Build the anticipation – Sexting, sending flirty voice notes, or even sharing your fantasies can keep the spark alive until you do get time alone. That build-up can make the actual moment feel even more intense. 
5. Solo play counts too – A lack of privacy doesn’t mean a lack of pleasure. Discreet toys are great for confidence-building without being noisy or hard to stash away. 

Annabelle adds: ‘At the end of the day, intimacy doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful – it’s about creativity, communication, and making the most of the moments you do have.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.