Decades on from the infamous Friends wedding episode, ‘I, Ross, take thee, Rachel’ still makes viewers cringe.
However, it doesn’t seem to have worked as a cautionary tale for Andrew Fildes, 51, who made the same mistake in his marriage vows to Rebecca Fildes, 46.
As the couple tied the knot – in a registry office in Bedfordshire in October 2023 – life imitated art in the worst way possible, with Andrew calling his new bride the wrong name.
It wasn’t just any mix-up though: standing at the altar in front of their family and friends, he referred to Rebecca as Sarah, his ex-girlfriend of 13 years.
Andrew, a property manager who lives in Harlington, Bedfordshire, describes the gaffe as his ‘worst nightmare’, explaining he got ‘jumbled’ by the fact Sarah is also his now-wife’s middle name.
He says: ‘I was bricking it and I was standing in front of friends and family trying not to say the wrong words.
‘I was just shaking and sweating so I was just trying to get through the ceremony really as I don’t like standing up in front of people.’
At first, the groom hadn’t even realised his mistake, so guests chuckled nervously as a ‘surprised’ Rebecca quickly corrected him.
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‘It’s just one of those things but it’s quite a common name,’ Andrew says. ‘Although it’s my ex, we’ve been separated for 10 years.’
And while Rebecca thankfully ‘saw the funny side’, the dog walker admits ‘It wasn’t ideal for him to say his ex’s name.’
‘But we’ve got the kind of relationship where I don’t think he did that for any reason other than just making a mistake,’ she explains.
‘I just laughed it off and we still laugh about it. I keep saying he owes me a proper wedding now where he gets my name right.’
The mum-of-three recently shared the blunder on TikTok, captioning the video with a serious of laughing emojis. But some didn’t seem to share her jokey attitude.
‘That’s awful. I would have been so upset,’ said one, while another added: ‘I would have walked out.’
A third called it a ‘big red flag’, alongside others urging Rebecca to divorce her husband or suggesting their marriage wouldn’t last.
Why we get names wrong – and what to do if it happens to you
Calling a partner your ex’s name is undoubtedly awkward, but according to Hannah Martin, psychotherapist and founder of Talented Ladies Club, there’s a biological reasoning for it.
She previously told Metro: ‘According to a study led by Duke University professor David Rubin, we all “group” people in our brains based on our relationships with them. It’s why we sometimes call teachers “mum” when we are at school – they are grouped as people in a position of authority and responsibility over us.
‘While your current partner may not like the idea of being grouped with an ex, it makes sense as they are both your significant others.
‘What it absolutely does not mean is that you are thinking of your ex, or that you still harbour any feelings for them. It’s simply the wiring of your brain having a misfire at that moment and unconsciously picking the wrong name from the right “group.”’
If you’re the one who’s said wrong name, sexologist Ness Cooper recommends showing empathy with a phrase like ‘I understand why you feel hurt, I would feel the same way, but please understand I didn’t intend to hurt you.’
For those on the receiving end, it’s all about empathy too: ‘Understand that most people will have a similar error at some point in their lives,’ she says. ‘It happens to us all.’
In terms of weddings more specifically, practicing ahead of time can help you avoid any slip-ups. If something does go wrong though, Metro wedding agony aunt Alison McCrone says it’s vital not to let ‘one negative incident’ cloud your memories.
She explains: ‘Life is never perfect, and remembering to focus on the positive of your wedding day will help you move on.’
The Friends connection wasn’t lost on people either, with one joking, ‘Ross Geller is that you?’.
According to Andrew, the ‘real-life Ross and Rachel moment’ is a running joke in their household, and Rebecca ‘loves to take the p***’.
‘I don’t take it too seriously but it’s still embarrassing,’ he says.
‘It’s especially frustrating because we talked about that beforehand as a joke because we’re both Friends fans. But it was still the best day of my life.’
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