I give my boyfriend oral sex so he’ll stop making this one request

Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.

This week we hear from Anita*, a straight 26-year-old from the north east, who has been with her boyfriend Ben for two years.

The pair who are both teachers, met at work, while Ben was in a relationship. After months of flirting, mostly from his side, he split up with his girlfriend and pursued Anita.

‘I’d gone to a wedding with a guy friend as my plus one and Ben got really jealous after seeing it on Instagram,’ Anita explains. ‘That was the moment he realised he needed to leave his relationship and see if there was something between us.

‘I was guilty of the occasional flirt with him while he was taken, but I never did anything physical with him, so I feel I handled that situation the best I could.’

Once he was single, the pair went out on a first date to a restaurant and, just one month later, they were boyfriend and girlfriend.

‘We have a very active sex life, but we still live about 45 minutes away from each other, so we don’t get to do it every night,’ Anita adds. ‘I love that we both know what the other enjoys in bed, and I feel super comfortable with him.’

So, without further ado, here’s how Anita got on this week…

The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.

Monday

I’m up at 6am for my morning run. I go most mornings because it makes me feel great and I love seeing my body grow stronger.

It’s a quick 5km before hopping in the shower and driving to school to get prepped for the day. I’ve recently been made head of department and I teach unruly year 10s, but I absolutely love it.

After a long day of teaching and marking, and handing out numerous detentions, I leave school at 4.30pm and head home.

Benand I make dinner together and do some marking (so romantic) and talk about our days – I love that we can bond over the stress of trying to teach teens.

After, we put on Married at First Sight because we love reality TV and relax before heading to bed.

Once the lights are off, I feel Ben spoon me and begin to kiss my neck softly, and I turn and make out with him. Before long, he pulls off my underwear and we have slow sex while spooning. I’m glad we skipped the foreplay otherwise I find we can end up doing the deed for too long and I get tired.

I make myself finish with my fingers and he climaxes at the same time, and I relish how close I feel to him when we’re intimate. He tells me he loves me and we cuddle briefly before falling asleep.

Tuesday

I skip the morning run in favour of a cuddle in bed before we both get up and head to our respective schools.

Today, I have to have a meeting with a parent about their child’s behaviour. I always find these things so awkward but I just want her son to succeed, and it ends on a positive note.

At lunchtime I get a text from Ben saying he can’t stop thinking about last night and he can’t wait to move in with me.

I get a little frustrated, we’ve had this conversation already and I’ve made it clear I want to live with my roommate for another year before we move in, because I like spending time with her and my friends.

I love Ben but I don’t see the rush, so I message back and say that I enjoyed last night but that he needs to be patient about moving in – we’ve got all the time in the world for that.

We aren’t seeing each other tonight so I head home and have dinner with my roommate before getting an early night.

Wednesday

After my morning run, I spend the school day feeling a little stressed because Ben has been less communicative since I asked him to be patient about moving in.

It must be hard to want something sooner than your partner, but I won’t do anything until I’m ready, besides I think it’s good to miss each other in the week.

I send him a message inviting him over tonight and he says he’ll be over once he picks up some clothes from home. When he arrives I get him a beer from the fridge and tell him that I love him but I just want to move a little slower.

He’s a bit gutted inside, I can tell, but he agrees to respect my timeline and not bring it up for a while.

I feel guilty, so once we’re in bed I go down on him, getting satisfaction from making him moan. I want him to know he’s wanted and appreciated.

He returns the favour, going down on me for a good 10 minutes before I finish.

We don’t have penetrative sex because we agree we’re too tired and it’s already late, but at least that little bit of distance between us has closed.

Thursday

We both head to school and it’s a long day, but once it hits 5pm I get excited because I’m heading out with my best work friend.

We head to a pub and get some wine before gossiping about our love lives. She’s just got married and informs me that newlywed sex is, in fact, no different to pre-marriage sex, but she’s keen to start trying for a baby.

It blows my mind because she’s my age and I don’t feel anywhere near old enough to be a mum, but I’m excited for her.

She asks me if I trust Ben 100% after the circumstances in which we met, which is weird because we’ve been happy for two years, but I’d never really thought about it.

It’s not like he cheated on his ex, he just grew feelings for me and couldn’t help it. He did the right thing by ending it, and I do feel like it was a one-off situation, he’s never given me any reason to think otherwise.

After a cute night out, I fall into bed.

Friday

I wake up late today so the morning run is off the cards and I rush to school.

The kids are a nightmare because it’s the end of the week and the hours seem to crawl by, but I make it to 5pm, having ploughed through the marking to try and have the weekend off.

I get changed at school into jeans and a nice top and head out to the car park where Ben is waiting to pick me up. He tells me I look gorgeous and I feel butterflies in my tummy, even after all this time.

We head to a mutual friend’s birthday dinner at a fancy restaurant and I get quite drunk, while he stays at two beers with food because he’s driving.

I’m a pretty messy drunk, and I end up being sick when we get home, so instead of having sex like we’d planned, Ben carries me to bed and gets me a glass of water before going to sleep beside me.

Saturday

I don’t feel too horrendous this morning after brushing my teeth – being sick must’ve helped prevent the hangover. After washing out my mouth and washing my face I get back into bed next to Ben who is just starting to stir.

I kiss him, hoping he’ll get the hint, and slowly but surely, he wakes up. I feel his boxers and he’s hard, which gets my excited. I give him a hand job and he fingers me, before getting on top.

Him taking control is a real turn on for me, and although it’s vanilla, missionary is my all time favourite position. I love the eye-contact and it makes me feel like I belong to him.

He finishes a little quickly and apologises because I don’t climax, but I don’t mind. I don’t care too much about orgasming every single time, because for me it’s more about enjoying the connection with him.

We shower together before heading to a pumpkin patch to pick out three to carve. That evening, my roommate third wheels and carves pumpkins with us as we order a takeaway.

At the end of the night, Ben and I are getting ready for bed and he bends me over the edge of the mattress before I can put pyjamas on. He’s gentle and takes his time easing himself in.

I get really into it and make myself orgasm before he finishes as he playfully slaps my bum.

Sunday

We wake up late today, making the most of a lazy morning before going on a long run together. We end up doing 15km, which isn’t unusual for us, and we eagerly post it on Strava.

Once back at mine we shower before heading out for a Sunday roast with his parents at 4pm. They’re lovely to me now, although I do think they took some time to warm up to me at first, especially since he’d just come out of a relationship.

They ask us how things are going and I hope that Ben doesn’t bring up our little hiccup in the week, but he just says everything is going great and that we’re really happy.

It’s true, and I have every intention of marrying him, I just like things to move a bit slower. I smile at him and he winks at me – in that moment I feel very content.

After, Ben kisses me goodbye and heads back to his. I head home and do some washing, and mark the last few tests I need to get done, then fall asleep.

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