The pain was excruciating. It would start in Jess Cox’s lower back and shoot down her thighs. The cramping and burning pain in her abdomen would drive her to distraction, forcing her into a wretched ball in her bed, preventing her from living her teenage life.
And the bleeding was no better. From the day she started her periods on her 14th birthday, Jess, from Somerset, had to double up on tampons and pads and carry spare underwear wherever she went. For years she wore only dark clothes in case of leaks.
The arrival of Jess’s first period didn’t just ruin her birthday, it wrecked her teenage years and left her feeling suicidal. While she should have been filling up on cake and going crazy with friends, she sat miserably through her birthday dinner, waiting for it to end so she could crawl back into bed.
‘It was a very big shock, because I just wasn’t expecting periods to be like this. Both my parents were alarmed. They knew that it wasn’t normal and they didn’t know what to do,’ Jess, now 27, tells Metro over zoom.
As the months passed, the teenager waited for her periods to calm, but after a year with no change, she visited the GP.
‘They said I was young, that my body was getting used to periods, and it should settle down. But that didn’t happen.
‘I dreaded every single month coming on my period. They would last seven to nine days – sometimes longer. It was a lot for my body to be going through so much so young.’
The bleeding was so heavy she’d had to change her sanitary wear every hour and she was left pale and weak.
During her heaviest times, Jess would wear a maxi tampon with two layers of pads and two pairs of knickers. Fears about leaks consumed her every waking hour and put a swift end to hobbies like swimming and ballet dancing, which she’d loved as a child.
And she was dogged by shame. Jess used to unwrap tampons and hide them in her bag so people in cubicles couldn’t hear her opening the wrappers. It wasn’t until later that she realised this could be dangerous as tampons need to be kept sterile.
‘It would cause me a lot of anxiety. I just thought it was so embarrassing,’ she remembers.
Jess’ heavy periods affected everything; her health, wellbeing, education, friendships and relationships.
She missed school and struggled to concentrate in lessons. And while some friends understood, others were less sympathetic.
‘People think that because they have periods for three or four days, they are fine. They just wouldn’t grasp the extent of how bad mine were
‘I really struggled, because I was dismissed a lot of the time, and people just weren’t very empathetic towards me.’
She was prescribed co-codomol to manage the pain and, after repeated trips to her GP, doctors started to experiment with contraceptives to control the bleeding. Her first was an implant at 16 that caused a year-long period. Bleeding daily, she began to fear for her future.
‘I was just in so much pain – it felt like it was out of my control. I felt like my body was failing me.
‘I really struggled with depression and it was even making me feel a bit suicidal because I thought I would have a whole life of this. I was thinking: How am I going to cope? I found it hard to stay on top of school and college work.’
By the age of 17, Jess was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), an endocrine disorder that can cause irregular periods. Doctors tried the pill but when that didn’t work, they removed the implant and gave her a contraceptive injection, which slowed the bleeding slightly.
Meanwhile, her health struggles made a love life impossible.
‘I was just so embarrassed. I didn’t start dating until I was older because I didn’t think anyone would understand, or maybe they would think it was disgusting. I felt a lot of shame around it.’
She now has a very supportive partner who knows to get her a hot water bottle and medication on bad days, and will head to the shops and make her dinner when she’s unable to.
But after college, working in retail, Jess found bosses struggled with her issues.
‘I had a few male managers that just didn’t understand or sympathise with me. I think because most women have periods, it just doesn’t get taken as seriously. They think: “If other people can get up and on with their job, why can’t you?”
‘It was embarrassing having to talk to them about periods and I struggled with it. But I had to explain it is a medical condition that is causing these symptoms.”
At work, Jess would struggle on, taking codeine on shifts and even wearing a tens machine – usually used by women in labour – behind the counter to try and soothe the agony.
‘It was hard trying to serve customers while being in so much pain. I would also get brain fog, my whole body would feel drained, I was anaemic and dizzy.’
In 2018, laparoscopic surgery revealed that Jess was suffering from suspected adenomyosis, a condition where the tissue that normally lines the uterus grows into its muscular wall – which explained the pain. Beginning to accept her lot, Jess debated having a hysterectomy in a move that she hoped would end the agony once and for all. But hope came at last when she was trawling through groups for women with PCOS.
She discovered that some found relief using the birth control patch, a small, adhesive patch that releases hormones. So she returned to the doctor and requested one, which at last seemed tostem the bleeding and brought huge relief.
While Jess still struggles with pain and bleeding, she feels far better than her teenage years. And while she doesn’t know how and why the patch worked where other methods failed, she has now let go of all the shame around her body.
‘I don’t hide tampons anymore. Periods are a normal bodily function and we shouldn’t have to hide them. I’ll talk about my periods now with anyone. If people ask me why I don’t look good, I will tell them: “It’s my period. It’s draining.”
‘There needs to just be more research into periods and doctors need to take it more seriously and actually look into what’s causing pain, rather than just throwing medicines at women.’
Now training as a pharmacist, Jess hopes to help other women struggling with their reproductive health.
‘I am sharing my story now because for so much of my life I felt embarrassed by what was happening to me. I felt like I had to hide it and not speak about it. It was so isolating. I don’t feel that anymore and want other women not to have to feel that shame.’
‘We urgently need to normalise period conversations’
Research from Bodyform has found that 76% of women have heavy periods and less than a fifth (16%) feel like they can talk openly with their manager when struggling with symptoms.
Less than half (47%) of women feel supported by medical professionals about their heavy period, the study found.
Dr Shireen Emadossadaty, GP and Bodyform medical partner, says: ‘heavy periods aren’t just a little extra blood – they affect wellbeing beyond physically, emotionally and mentally. Yet too often, people who menstruate feel their experiences are minimised or misunderstood. We urgently need to normalise these conversations and provide solutions that genuinely support those affected.’
