‘I hate my tattoos and feel like I’ve ruined my life’: Psychologist shares advice on tattoo regret
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Tattoo regret is somewhat of a trending topic on social media. On TikTok, there are thousands of videos of people going through the tattoo removal process, while artists share warnings about the permanency of tattoos. On Reddit, there are endless threads dedicated to tattoo regret, with many people offering advice and support to those experiencing it. In terms of the latter, one particular post has recently gone viral — a man with a full chest piece who said he has started to ‘hate’ his ink, feels like it he has ‘completely ruined’ his life and feels ‘constantly anxious’ as a result. Metro spoke with psychologist Justine Maguire, who explained why it’s a common experience and shared advice for those going through it. (Picture: Getty Images)
What can cause tattoo regret?
Justine, clinical lead at Onebright, a UK private psychological therapy and neurodevelopmental service, explains: ‘One common cause [of tattoo regret] is impulsivity. Some people get tattoos without longer-term consideration, sometimes due to peer pressure or spontaneous decision-making. Tattoos linked to current trends or designs that lack personal value may feel less relevant over time, which can lead to regret.’ Another factor is poor quality work, which can include unskilled artwork or mistakes made by the artist, where the finished tattoo does not meet the original expectation or image the person had in mind. (Picture: Getty Images)
Additionally, Maguire says that ‘changes in personality or values can contribute’ to this regret. As people grow and change, a tattoo may no longer fit with how they see themselves. Unlike piercings, tattoos are permanent, which the expert says can make this experience more difficult. ‘There can also be social or career-related stigma,’ she said. ‘Tattoos in visible areas may conflict with societal or professional environments, leading some people to feel regret or a desire to keep them covered.’ (Picture: Getty Images)
On top of this, Maguire adds that changes in the body over time can play a role as well. ‘Skin naturally ages, tattoos can stretch or fade, and changes in body shape or size may alter how a tattoo looks or how confident someone feels about showing it.’ And finally, she says that some research suggests that certain types of tattoos are more commonly associated with regret. These include names (particularly of partners), tribal designs, hearts or roses, and symbolic tattoos that felt meaningful at one stage of life but may feel less important later on.’ (Picture: Getty Images)
As a mental health professional, what advice would you offer to someone experiencing tattoo regret?
According to Maguire, someone may experience tattoo regret quite quickly after having one done, whilst others may begin to regret it as time moves on and our bodies change. Whichever camp you belong to, she does recommend the following steps to help manage the regret:
• Sit and tolerate initial feelings about the tattoo. Consider waiting six to 12 months to allow the tattoo to completely heal and enable yourself to get used to the changes that have been made before making any further decisions to change it.
• Self-compassion. Regret is a normal emotion, and everyone at some point makes decisions which they will either regret or lead to mistakes. How would you support a friend who was reporting some tattoo guilt and being hard on themselves?
• Avoid obsessive checking. Do not continuously check the tattoo or your body in the mirror. Redirecting your attention elsewhere and focusing on other things you value can help.
• Reframing the narrative. Try to accept that this choice was made and why, and allow yourself to learn from the mistake, acknowledging it as part of the journey in your life, rather than one which continues to derail you.
(Picture: Getty Images)
If, after around 12 months, you still wish to change the tattoo, Maguire says that options may include covering it in certain environments, laser removal, or consulting a different artist about adapting the original design. ‘These steps should be thought through carefully rather than taken impulsively,’ she warns. As for when to seek professional mental health support, Maguire recommends doing so if you feel the tattoo or regret around this is causing ‘extreme distress or symptoms of anxiety, depression or body dysmorphia.’ (Picture: Getty Images)
Why do people make big life decisions so young?
‘Young adults are exploring who they are in adolescence, which leads to decisions or choices around independence and identity, which they do not at the time perceive as being big decisions,’ explains Maguire. Compared to older adults, she says that young people typically have less life experience to draw on when making decisions, which can lead to choices that need to be reconsidered later. ‘Supportive networks or parental guidance can reduce the likelihood of impulsive decisions, but without this, young adults may not fully recognise long-term consequences.’ (Picture: Getty Images)
Meanwhile, brain development changes as someone gets older. Maguire adds: ‘The pre-frontal cortex, which is responsible for planning, sequencing or decision making, does not fully develop until around the age of 25.’ Prior to this, the brain’s reward centres can make risk-taking and impulsive actions feel more appealing. (Picture: Getty Images)
Would you recommend speaking to a therapist? If so, when?
Maguire recommends talking to a health care professional or therapist if symptoms of anxiety, depression or excessive focus on the body become intense. Or, if it begins to interfere with daily life, social situations or overall functioning and mood. Ultimately, she assures that tattoo regret is a common experience, with studies showing that a large proportion of people have considered removing or altering a tattoo. ‘Normalising this experience can help.’ (Picture: Getty Images)
Sharing thoughts and feelings with others may reduce feelings of isolation and help shift focus away from regret and towards managing the situation and moving forward, explains the expert. ‘Given the number of young adults who experience emotional distress following tattoos, more screening and psychoeducation around early tattoo decisions should be implemented.’ (Picture: Getty Images)
