I tried the UK’s most expensive lube — the £70 bottle transformed my sex life

A £70 price tag seldom phases me when it comes to shopping. Hell, if it gets me a nice wardrobe staple like a knitted jumper or a pair of boots, I’m there.

When it comes to what I spend on my sex life though, the idea of dropping £70 on lube seems practically criminal. I have great sex with my partner without any assistance at all.

But it was the desire to prove it couldn’t possibly be worth that astronomical price tag that had me adding Ples’Jour’s Opal lube to my basket.

There’s just one problem: I was completely wrong.

In fact, I’ll never be able to return to the brands stocked on supermarket shelves now I’ve used Opal – even if it’s £62 more than a same-sized bottle of Durex lube.

I can almost feel my body thanking me for using it, not to mention the sensation I feel while doing the deed has been enhanced tenfold.

How I justify the £70 spend

Let’s start with the basics. On the surface it looks like an expensive product and it’s inconspicuous.

If an unsuspecting family member was to come across this bottle in a drawer, it’s unlikely they’d have any clue it was lube.

The bottle itself has no labels, it’s simply a weighty opaque cream glass bottle with a round pull-off top.

It’s a product that looks as if it belongs on the shelves of Selfridges or Space NK. And if you’re willing to drop £85 on a 15ml bottle of La Mer moisturiser, why would you not drop £15 less for the sake of your vagina?

What does it do for your sex life?

Now onto the actual lube itself. It promises to be ‘a long-lasting, rigorously
tested, silky formula that enhances every touch’, and boy does it deliver.

I used it for the first time in bed with my partner about a month ago and it feels like velvet.

Too often I’ve used lubes that feel oily and sticky, or that dry out too quickly – prompting an awkward pause while you reapply. But those days are now over thanks to Opal.

As are my experiences with discomfort, micro-tears and friction during sex. All of that has vanished because of the silky feeling and constant moisture this product provides.

Despite my partner and I having some pretty impressive stamina (not to brag) we never have to reach for more – it literally never dries out, and trust me, it’s not for a lack of trying.

Because of this, penetrative sex has never felt more intense, allowing me to simply focus on that pleasure.

One other major pet peeve of mine when it comes to cheaper lubes is the horrible scents some contain. Nothing ruins an intimate moment for me more than a strong artificial strawberry aroma.

But Opal lube is fragrance-free, so that’s that problem solved – and it gets another point when it comes to protection.

If you still rely on or choose to wear condoms, you can wrap up stress free because Opal doesn’t damage latex or polyisoprene condoms.

Why it’s worth investing in a good lube

It may be tempting to use saliva to make things damp down there, given that it’s free and convenient, but it’s something we really should be avoiding.

‘Though saliva can give a sensation of wetness and slipperiness during a sexual encounter it tends to dry quickly,’ gynaecologist Dr. Jacqueline Guest tells Metro.

‘If lubricant has been applied, particularly silicone-based, it will tend to stay slippery for longer than saliva so reducing interruptions. It will also give a more obvious gliding sensation.’

But there are also more significant health risks that could occur if you opt for saliva over lube.

‘Though saliva has its place in healthy sexual relationships it can contain bacteria, viruses and fungal infections that may be transmitted during intimacy,’ Dr Guest adds.

You might get a fungal infection which causes redness, itching and cracking of the skin, according to the doctor. Or, chlamydia is a possibility, which could affect fertility in the long run.

Symptoms in women include burning when passing urine, bleeding after intercourse or in between periods, pelvic pain or deep pain during sexual activity. In men symptoms include pain during urination, cloudy urine or discharge and pain in one or both testes.

‘Gonorrhoea may be passed in saliva or other sexual secretions and will cause similar symptoms to chlamydia though more often with discharge,’ Dr Guest explains.

‘It may also affect fertility. HPV can also be passed in saliva and is likely the most common sexually transmitted infection. Some types of HPV can cause genital warts and certain types can result in cervical cancer or oral cancer.’

These are all risks when it comes to sex but they shouldn’t stop us from enjoying sensible and safe oral and penetrative sex, but using lube rather than saliva won’t hurt.

So, while it may be bank account-friendly, investing in your lube the way you’d invest in your health and skincare can have untold benefits to your sex life.

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