It’s nigh on impossible to say how much I earn.
For instance, yesterday I had a tooth removed, tweeted about it, and a findom sub (that’s ‘financial domination submissive’) promptly dressed up as a tooth fairy, then sent me £40.
Delighted by his thoughtfulness, I tweeted about that too, and another three tooth fairies popped up to add to his bounty, while on Onlyfans I was tipped £400 to toast my tooth’s demise.
The next day I got my hair cut and three men wanted to pay the £25 bill. Doubtless it’ll be the same with next week’s pedicure, only more so.
I realise I’m unlikely to garner much sympathy, but such generosity makes it pretty hard to keep my accounts straight, particularly since pedicures are tax deductible anyway. (I do a lot of foot fetish work, modelling, sessions and films, so I really need to keep my toes on tip-top form.)
This is why I have an accountant. I don’t pay him, though, but spank him, four times a year on average.
He only likes my hand to touch his bottom, thighs and face – he adores a good whack around the chops, as hard and fast as I can manage. He even pays for the hotel we use, which I then keep to squeeze in a few other clients after him, as well.
I’ve no idea what he charges usually, but I suspect it’s more than I charge for four spanking sessions. However, we both think we’re getting an incredible deal, and have been for the past seven years. Priceless.
To be frank, I don’t pay for anything. Any outfits, spanking implements or other equipment I might need for sessions or films, men are only too happy to give me. Some of clients seem to spend every waking hour in their sheds crafting me bespoke paddles and tawses, far more than I could wield in three lifetimes.
Usually these are engraved with my name so I can’t even flog them, pardon the pun. Instead, I’ll merely murmur: ‘You are too kind. Let’s try them now, shall we?’
Then they pay me for the privilege of using their gifts.
If I go out for coffee, or dinner, or cocktails, someone else covers the bill. They particularly like it if I go out with my husband, or indeed any other chap. ‘Is he a proper alpha male, mistress? Does he have a massive c**k? Does he satisfy you in a way a pathetic little sissy slut like me could never imagine?,’ they ask.
Sometimes a client will pay me to have dinner with him, pay for dinner, and then a sissy slut will pay for dinner too. Triple entry accounting, is that a thing?
And there are so many ways to be sent money. Gift cards, for instance: should I count those? Even for Christmas and birthdays? Envelopes of cash get pushed through my door, along with either keys to chastity devices, or lines for me to correct, or both: does that count as work, given I never actually look at the lines?
Once I had my handbag stolen, tweeted miserably about my plight – happily my phone is never out of my hand – and one client had an envelope of cash couriered round to me an hour later, so I could promptly change all the locks and buy myself restorative treats.
Being a disciplinarian is rather like having a fully comprehensive gold star insurance package. Life’s little mishaps bounce off me.
Can’t get enough? Dive in to another On Call…
Again, I don’t expect sympathy, but it is a nice situation to be in for someone who came from poverty. We ate a lot of soup and weathered periods of homelessness. I recall always putting my pocket money back in her purse when she wasn’t looking, as I knew she couldn’t afford it.
I will never take any of this for granted. I still can’t pass a penny in the street without stooping to scoop it up.
Nowadays my largest revenue stream is my property portfolio, paid for by many decades of mucky shenanigans, but I will never ever stop working, because none of this ever feels like work. There’s true riches.
Oh, and that pulled tooth I was told to toast? You wouldn’t believe how many of my submissive pain sluts are dentists. Well, perhaps you would.
Anyway, they’re currently fighting between themselves as to who should be allowed to fit me an implant. In return for spanks, naturally, rather than cash.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
