Mum saw me as a boy – until I asked this question – Bundlezy

Mum saw me as a boy – until I asked this question

Evie Macdonald smiles to camera
I had told my Mum over and over again that I was a girl – and I always had been (Picture: epicfilms.com.au)

Buckled into my seatbelt after a long day at school, I couldn’t wait to show Mum what I made in art class.

Soon after setting off, I pulled out the peach-coloured ring, bracelet, and necklace I’d crafted out of string and gems and beamed with pride.

Peeping up from the road, she spied the jewellery in my hand and blankly asked: ‘Is it for me?’

I replied that it wasn’t and she shot back: ‘It’s either for me or it goes out the window.’

I was eight years old and she didn’t want me playing or even associating with girls’ things because she thought I was a boy. But I had told her over and over again that I was a girl – and I always had been.

Snatching the jewellery off me, Mum ended up throwing them out of the window. That’s when I lost my temper and shouted: ‘Why can’t you accept me for who I am?’

Mum paused and a deafening silence ensued. A few moments later, she turned the car around and did a few loops to look for the jewellery – to no avail.

Evie Macdonald and her co-stars in school TV series First Day
Evie Macdonald (second from left) as Hannah Bradford in the series ‘First Day’ (Picture: Ian Routledge)

Years later, Mum told me that my question to her was a lightbulb moment that she couldn’t keep trying to suppress my trans identity. That car ride was a literal turning point for her.

Even before I had the language to explain it, I have always known I was meant to be a girl. I felt more comfortable around girls, I loved playing with dolls, and I always wanted to wear dresses.

I grew up Christian so the way I vocalised my trans identity was by maintaining that God had given me the soul of a girl. But this scared my parents and they thought something was wrong with me. 

As a result, they tried to force me to play Aussie rules football, which I absolutely hated because of the mud. I cried every single time I was on the pitch. That carried on when I was made to surf and play golf too.

Pride and Joy: Evie Macdonald - I asked Mum a question that completely changed how she saw me
My parents tried to get me on play dates with boys my age (Picture: epicfilms.com.au)

On top of that, they wouldn’t let me grow my hair long, they insisted I was placed in classes with a male teacher, and they tried to get me on play dates with boys my age.

But everything changed on the day I made the jewellery and confronted my mother with the question about accepting me for who I am.

I didn’t know this at the time, but Mum called Dad that day and said she didn’t know how to handle this anymore. That’s when Dad suggested calling our family doctor for advice.

At the appointment, the doctor essentially said he’d been waiting for their call because it was obvious to him that I had gender dysphoria from treating me when I was very little. He referred us to the Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne, where I saw three different psychiatrists.

Evie Macdonald in front of grey background
Not going through male puberty is something I genuinely believe saved my life (Picture: epicfilms.com.au)

Throughout it all, I maintained that I was a girl and I was given my gender dysphoria diagnosis. But the fight wasn’t over.

The law at the time was that children with gender dysphoria diagnoses needed to go to court to receive authority to go on medications like puberty blockers and hormones. So my parents and I – as well as other young trans activists – campaigned to change it.

After going to the nation’s capital to meet with MPs, we were thrilled to receive the landmark ruling in 2017 that got rid of this stipulation.

Evie Macdonald in the TV series First Day
A role of a lifetime came along, aged 12 (Picture: epicfilms.com.au)

By then, I had already started socially transitioning, including growing my hair long, wearing what I wanted, and playing with the toys I liked. Starting gender-affirming medication and not going through male puberty is something I genuinely believe saved my life.

This gave me a sense of normality that a lot of other trans people sadly don’t get. I have to acknowledge my privilege in that regard.

Then a role of a lifetime came along, aged 12.

Evie Macdonald and her co-stars in First Day
Filming was an absolute dream come true and such a privilege (Picture: epicfilms.com.au)

Someone sent my mum a Facebook post that was looking for a young actress to star in a new TV show called First Day. It’s about a young trans girl named Hannah Bradford, who starts high school and navigates her identity.

Mum asked if I wanted to apply and I jumped at the opportunity, so we recorded an audition tape and sent it over. Within a few weeks, I received the call from the director to say I got the role and I just cried and ran around the house screaming.

Filming was an absolute dream come true and such a privilege, but I didn’t truly realise this at the time. It wasn’t until it aired from 2017 on ABC and I started receiving messages from young LGBTQ+ people that it hit home how much the representation meant to so many.

Hannah was just like all of her classmates, except for one thing. Her real friends accepted her for who she is and it’s such a heart-warming story. 

We filmed two seasons – and now they’re being released on YouTube so anyone can watch them. I hope young trans people take as much positivity and love from Hannah as I did playing her.

Ever since the jewellery incident, my parents have supported me unconditionally and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without this love. We went on a journey together – good and bad – and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Now, in my early 20s, I couldn’t be more hopeful for the future. I just wish more young trans people get the chance to be accepted for who they are.

As told to James Besanvalle

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing James.Besanvalle@metro.co.uk

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