Open your mouth next time you’re having sex, and you might feel a giant blob of spit fired into it.
After all, spitting in each others’ mouths during intercourse is apparently the done thing now.
It started as a TikTok trend a few years back where influencers mouthed ‘oh spit in my mouth, spit in my mouth – that’s… nasty’ only to then show a picture of someone they deemed incredibly attractive.
And we can’t forget the viral ‘hawk tuah’ movement Haliey Welch started a year ago – although that pertains to spitting on someone’s penis, not in their mouth.
But what began as tongue and cheek banter has trickled down into mainstream sex.
You only have to look as far as the trailer Lena Dunham’s hotly-anticipated rom-com ‘Too Much’ to see what we mean. In bed, an indie musician can be seen spitting into the main character Jess’ mouth, and viewers were mortified saying they ‘almost threw up’ and found it ‘totally disgusting’.
Michael B Jordan’s ‘Sinners’ also went viral for its ‘spit scene’ where Mary (Hailee Steinfeld) straddles Stack and slowly and erotically spits a whole lot of saliva into his mouth.
So, saliva is seemingly everywhere, but why? Sex psychotherapist Gigi Engle explains that spitting in someone’s mouth aka spit play or saliva swapping, is very alluring in the world of dom-sub play.
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‘By letting someone spit in your mouth, you’re consensually submitting to the other person,’ she tells Metro. ‘It also ties into humiliation play.
‘Some people will enjoy the degradation because spitting on someone is culturally demeaning, so during sex it has an erotic charge.’
She adds that some people can find bodily fluids like spit attractive in itself, finding the thought of someone else’s fluids sexy.
It might seem like it’s suddenly become all the rage, but Gigi says spit play isn’t new.
‘People have always done spit play in dominant submissive dynamics – we’re simply seeing more media attention on it,’ she says. ‘People are seeing it more, finding it interesting and experimenting with it.’
It tracks, given a study in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour last year documented ‘increased exposure’ of BDSM across mainstream media’ which encompasses the themes of dominance and submission during sex.
‘Kink, dominance and submission are becoming popularised, so more of the play, like spit play, is going to be popularised too,’ Gigi adds.
Spitting is a hot but divisive topic in sex-related Reddit forums too, with people explaining why it gets them off.
‘It’s about it being disgusting and degrading… It makes me feel dirty and used when my boyfriend does stuff like that, and that’s exactly why it gets me off,’ wrote @yesmissy.
Another added: ‘It’s when you want every part of someone in your body. [They] do it in porn, but from a real person‘s perspective, if I’m that enamoured by someone, I want them to do everything to me, including spit in my mouth.’
Others felt it was a display of dominance and trust, while someone else pointed out: ‘It’s like making out but instead of showing mutual affection, it feels like they’re claiming you.’
For those who weren’t on board with it, it was typically because the thought of it made them gag, or they found it ‘too degrading’ to be turned on by it – especially when it was being done by someone they cared about.
If you are into the idea of spitting in someone’s mouth, or being on the receiving end, Gigi stressees that while it’s a perfectly normal kink, you need to set clear boundaries.
‘Discuss when you want to be spat on and where on your body – whether that’s in your mouth or elsewhere,’ she says. Obviously you need to get consent for this act before you try it during sex – do not assume your partner will be into it.
Kink aware counsellor Celia Jarvis agrees. She tells Metro that you should be doing this because it’s sexy and exciting for you, not anyone else.
‘It’s being honest about whether you enjoyed it – it might be their “yum” but is it your “yuk”,’ she asks. ‘As a woman, pretending to enjoy something you don’t can have a long term impact on your self esteem, diminishing your self worth.
‘Know what turns you on and don’t compromise that for anyone.’
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