In case you were wondering, the gender pay gap is alive and well, and men are still being paid more than women.
According to the most recent data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS), women in full-time employment earned 6.9% less than men in April 2025.
This disparity is particularly evident in relationships, with new research by Nationwide revealing that the average wage gap between partners has now reached an astonishing £32,000.
So, it’s no surprise that money is a major cause of conflict for many couples across the UK, with one in five Brits ending a relationship because of salary differences.
But when do the first signs of tension begin to appear?
The banking provider claims there’s an initial salary gap ‘point of pain’ where tensions start to rise in a relationship
Here’s everything you need to know…
The average salary difference that causes conflict…
As part of their research, Nationwide asked participants whether income differences between them and their partner had ever caused conflict or tension.
Those who said yes were then asked approximately how large the difference had been in annual income at the time.
From the answers, the banking provider was able to work out that the initial point of conflict occurred (on average) when there was a salary gap of £7,614.72 between partners.
Why do people end relationships over salary differences?
Participants in the research confessed to feeling stress and resentment over their partner earning more than them, while others couldn’t handle the pressure of being financially responsible for their significant other.
And a few wanted to avoid discussions about their salary at all costs, with 17% of people admitting they aren’t comfortable talking about money.
Katie*, from London, knows all too well that it can be ’embarrassing’ discussing money with a partner who earns more than you.
Her boyfriend of several years is ‘significantly’ better paid than she is, and while they’re still going strong, she struggles knowing she can’t keep up with him financially.
‘We’ve had to have honest conversations about where to live, and he’ll have to compromise on size and location because I can’t match what he can spend,’ she explains.
‘He’s very understanding, but I do worry about buying a house together and contributing evenly.’
Have salary differences ever caused an issue in your relationship?
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Yes
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No
And she’s not the only one, Tania*, from Hertfordshire, is also grappling with what it means to be on a lower income than her male best friend and housemate.
‘It can be embarrassing,’ she says. ‘I would never ask anything from him; however, there have been situations where he wants to eat at a certain restaurant, and he’s had to treat us both to it.’
As such, Tania says she tries to do a little more around the house, to make up for the fact that she can’t ‘reciprocate financially’.
How can you avoid arguments over money?
Psychotherapist and anxiety expert Kamalyn Kaur urges couples to have ‘open financial conversations’, but not to get caught up comparing salaries.
As it’s such a personal topic, staying practical and proactive can make conversations about money feel more manageable and less taxing.
She recommends focusing on aligning your values, setting realistic expectations, respecting boundaries, and protecting emotional well-being on both sides while having the chat.
‘Money conversations can be emotionally loaded, making it difficult to openly talk about finances,’ she says.
‘People fear judgment, criticism, or conflict – especially if they carry feelings of anxiety, not being “enough”, or concerns of being perceived as privileged, burdensome, or irresponsible.’
Kamalyn’s top five tips for talking about money with your partner:
- Begin money conversations by discussing what money represents to you rather than focusing on salary figures, helping reduce defensiveness and comparison.
- Talk about finances during calm, neutral moments so the discussion feels supportive and constructive rather than critical.
- Use ‘I’ statements: Framing concerns around your own feelings and needs helps reduce blame and keeps the focus on problem‑solving.
- Talk early in romantic relationships: Early discussions about spending habits and financial attitudes support long‑term compatibility without requiring full disclosure too soon.
- Create practical systems to reduce emotional distress: Clear tools and systems for managing shared finances can minimise uncertainty, stress, and resentment.
* Names have been changed for anonymity.
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