‘She needs to lay off the sunbeds’.
‘Madge from Benidorm’.
‘100-year-old neck of a giraffe’.
Just three of the comments on Instagram referencing TV presenter and model Ulrika Jonsson’s appearance after her latest podcast appearance, where, among other things, she opened up about her trauma and addiction battles.
When a woman does this, I see nothing but bravery and strength. But the rest of the world? Well, apparently, what she looks like is far more important.
As a result, I’ve grown terrified of ageing in today’s society.
What is the Ulrika Jonsson controversy?
Last week, Ulrika, 57, went on Spencer Matthews’ Untapped podcast. She spoke frankly about the challenges she faced in giving up drinking, as well as choosing a life of wellness to be present for both herself and her children.
It was an empowering listen.
The social media comments, however, were flooded with jibes about her skin, speculating about her age with a mocking tone, and demanding to know ‘what happened’ to her.
Consequently, Ulrika felt compelled to hit back, explaining to her followers that she went makeup-free for the record; hence, her complexion looks different.
She also proudly declared that, as she progresses into her late fifties, she ‘will never look like the fresh 21yr old [sic] that used to greet you first thing in the morning by the weather board’.
Ulrika’s clapback was perfect, as she stressed that, yes, her appearance is going to change as she ages, and it would be both naïve and foolish to believe otherwise – but the fact that she felt a need to address it at all proves we have a problem.
What is the problem?
We live in an era of ‘Botox in a bottle’ and the invention of new cosmetic procedures every other week. It’s impossible to open TikTok without a twenty-something influencer trying to flog a ridiculous skincare device to you or urging you to try an anti-ageing hack with zero scientific backing.
Gone are the days of allowing yourself to grow old without injectables or surgery. If you’re not panicking about the prospect of going grey or doing what you can to prevent wrinkles, even before you’ve hit 30, the world wants to know why.
As a result, everyone has seemingly forgotten what a normal, ageing face looks like and greets it with horror and disgust each time they’re reminded that – if it weren’t for fillers, laser treatments, lifts, and tucks – it’s completely plausible for them to look like that, too.
I’m not judging. I fully support doing what you want with your appearance. I also have a lot of grace for the women, in particular, who are condemning other women for looking older.
We live in a deeply misogynistic society where every one of us has been violently chewed up and spat back out by diet culture and unrealistic, unattainable beauty standards.
But we need to break this cycle.
How these comments impact me
Because I’m left scared of how I’m going to be treated or talked about if I don’t go down the route of tweakments and filtering my pictures as I age.
Already, I feel societal pressure to prepare my skin for the future. I wear a daily SPF (which, to be honest, is recommended for protecting against skin cancer) in the hopes that it may also prevent wrinkles.
I think I love my daily skincare routine, but I’d be lying if I said I did it wholly for fun. I know that even when it feels like a chore, I press on because I think it’s essential for maintaining a youthful appearance for as long as I can.
But I don’t want to fear getting older. I don’t want to feel as though I have an expiry date as a woman and that my value and importance decrease with each passing day.
As someone who has fought an eating disorder for 15 years now, as well as almost paralysing bouts of depression and anxiety, I view ageing as a privilege.
It is such a blessing to grow older when not everyone gets that chance, and, after once being adamant that I wouldn’t survive past high school, each day I live now is a gift.
Alas, the rest of the world feels differently and is determined to push back their biological clocks as much as possible, making it all the more agonising to merely exist as someone who has higher priorities than fearing developing frown lines or thinning hair.
As women, there are already countless factors working against us – whether that be pay disparity, gender-based violence, slut shaming, or medical negligence.
What needs to happen now?
Please, let’s stop making life even harder by trying to prevent the inevitable.
Ulrika Jonsson is far from the first woman to fall victim to age-shaming, and she certainly won’t be the last. Even Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson, 58, isn’t safe from backlash when she rocks up to a red carpet without makeup.
What’s more, glam country music queen Dolly Parton, 79, felt the need to warn Sabrina Carpenter, 26, when they collaborated recently, laughing as she told her in a now-viral clip: ‘You’ll be this old one day!’
Sabrina’s response had me tearful, as it represented everything we need to be telling each other: ‘I know, I can’t wait. I hope I look like you!’
There’s no age limit on beauty. It both breaks my heart and angers me that older women have been made to feel any different.
Now, we need to use Ulrika as a springboard.
Allow her words to generate just one conversation about stamping out the narrative that a woman must remain bright-eyed and baby-faced and defy the laws of biology long into her adult life, and how insane that notion is.
Let Ulrika’s defiant stance towards age-shaming trolls be the antidote to the youth-obsessed influencers.
She’s not perfect; no one is suggesting that. As a self-proclaimed sun worshipper, there’s no doubt this will have caused premature signs of ageing and avoidable damage to her complexion.
But regardless of how often she likes to sunbathe, she shouldn’t be slated for looking like a normal 57-year-old woman.
Everyone, including me, has become so terrified of ageing that they’re no longer enjoying being young.
And that’s no way to live.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk.
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