All kinds of bizarre questions do the rounds on social media every month, like why do towels have those weird lines on them, and why do ancient statues all have such small p*nises? They’re things you don’t really think about very often, because why would you? But then you realise you don’t actually know the answer.
While staring at a statue in a museum when you’re on holiday in Greece or Italy, a thought about the size of its p*nis has no doubt popped into your head. But it’s a pointless bit of information that you never really cared to find out the answer to… until now. It turns out, there is a reason. And it’s not because the sculptor ran out of stone.
In his 2016 book In Bed with the Ancient Greeks, British author and historian Paul Chrystal explained that big penises were actually considered undesirable many centuries ago, when these statues were made. It’s kind of wild when you think about it, because it’s the complete opposite view to today.
Credit: Canva
“Big penises were vulgar and outside the cultural norm, something sported by the barbarians of the world,” he wrote. “The small penis was consonant with Greek ideals of male beauty. It was a badge of the highest culture and a paragon of civilisation.”
It was also a sign of intelligence. Archaeologist Chaira told DW: “For the ancient Greeks and Romans, large genitals were considered ugly. The stonemasons modelled only small genitals because they wanted to make it clear: This man is a rational intellectual, and as such he has his urges under control.”
In Greek comedy, fools were often depicted with big p*nises as “the sign of stupidity,” Chryrstal added. So, it was literally an insult. Next time you’re staring at a random statue, you’ll now know this random, pointless fact. You’re welcome.
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Featured image credit: Canva
