Mariah Carey called herself a ‘prude’ for sleeping with five men so far, while Bonnie Blue claims she’d bedded 2,000.
Despite how many people you’ve had sex with meaning precisely zilch, society has long been obsessed with ‘body counts’.
It’s a stigma that’s existed for centuries, particularly aimed at women. Producing ‘bloodied’ bedsheets to prove a new-wife was a virgin was referenced in the Bible, and today, the likes of Andrew Tate are still weirdly obsessed with the concept.
A now, a new survey has found that 29% of Brits say it ‘matters’ when it comes to choosing a long-term partner.
Women are actually more concerned with their partner having a ‘low’ body count with 27% saying so, compared to just 22% of guys, according to the research by Lovehoney.
Thankfully, the overwhelming majority of Brits don’t subscribe to this antiquated view, with 69% saying they don’t actually care at all (hurrah!).
However, the people who did have a preference were surprisingly stingy — and some age groups are much more forgiving than others.
Should body count matter?
‘The number of past partners doesn’t predict how you’ll behave in a relationship,’ Annabelle says. ‘What matters is how someone treats you now including their emotional availability, boundaries, communication and ability to build trust.
‘Someone with a high body count isn’t “more risky”, and someone with a low one isn’t automatically more committed. Sexual history is just that – history, not destiny.’
Ultimately, Annabelle says if you’re dating someone, what really matters is how safe you feel, how respected you are, and how well you connect.
‘Curiosity, communication and chemistry build real intimacy and not a tally of who came before you,’ she adds.
If you want to know your partner’s body count, the relationship expert suggests asking yourself why. Decipher whether you’re insecure, curious or want to understand their past experiences.
If you’re the one who has been asked about body count, the expert says this: ‘Feeling embarrassed – whether your number feels “too high” or “too low” – is more common than you think.
‘Shame around body count is a product of outdated double standards, not your personal worth. Be honest if you feel hesitant. A respectful partner will value how you feel about the question, not just the final answer.’
Aged 65+: 3 to 5
Sign up to The Hook-Up, Metro’s sex and dating newsletter
Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom?
Sign up to The Hook-Up and we’ll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can’t wait for you to join us!
If we should take advice from anyone when it comes to body count, it should be the over 65s. A whopping 84% of them don’t think body count matters at all.
A large swath of this age group likely had their sexual awakening during the 60s and 70s, which marked the dawn of the Free Love movement, andwhen the contraceptive pill was first introduced in the UK.
‘Older generations have lived through those messy, meaningful, long-term experiences – and for many of them – body count doesn’t even come into the equation anymore,’ says sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight.
However, those who do care say that the ideal number is just three to five sexual partners.
Ages 55-64: 5 to 10
Just 15% of those aged between 55 and 64 say body count matters, but the number is higher, preferring an average of five to 10.
This does mean though that if people in that bracket want a relationship with an age-mate, they’d expect them to have had just two new sexual partners for every decade of their adult life.
Talk about a dry spell.
Ages 35 to 54: 3 to 10
The most commonly preferred body count for those aged between 35 and 54 is three to 10.
‘Interestingly, the 35 to 54 age group – who are most likely to be in long-term relationships or raising families – appear to be the most cautious,’ Annabelle says.
‘Many 35 to 45-year-olds are usually looking for something stable, some may even have kids from previous relationships that they are hesitant to introduce to a new partner, so dating becomes less about thrill-seeking and more about futureproofing.
‘Body count can then feel like a way, however imperfect, of gauging compatibility, reliability and whether someone fits into their wider life.’
Ages 25-34: 3 to 5
Surprisingly, millennials and the older end of gen z weren’t particularly open-minded, with only 23% saying they don’t care about body count.
Their number was low too, with three to five sexual partners the preferred.
Annabelle tells Metro this is likely due to this generation growing up with a hyper-online, hyper-performative dating culture where everything is measured, compared and judged — including sex.
‘Body count becomes a way of trying to control this uncertainty, even though it tells you absolutely nothing about someone’s capacity to love, communicate or be faithful.’
‘Many millennials were raised by conservative, often marriage-first Boomers, but came of age in the explosion of hook-up culture, dating apps and sex-positive media and those two forces collided,’ Annabelle adds.
‘Films like What’s Your Number?, Bridget Jones, and American Pie, as well as pop culture, turned women’s sexual history into a punchline or a problem so it’s no wonder Millennials internalised the idea that numbers “mean something”.
‘They were taught to be sexually liberated, but also subtly shamed for it.’
Ages 18 to 24: 3 to 5
Gen z are the least forgiving when it comes to body count.
That’s right, 42% of those aged 18 to 24 say the number of people their partner has slept with matters, with their preferred body count just three to five people.
‘What really stands out to me is that younger people – especially Gen Z – seem to be navigating a tension between ideals and acceptance,’ Annabelle adds.
‘Many say they’d prefer a partner with limited experience, but at the same time, they’re just as likely as older generations to say they “don’t care” about body count.’
She explains this shows a shift towards younger people being more emotionally open, even if more ‘traditional’ ideas around what’s acceptable when it comes to sex linger.
More on sex…
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
