‘You’re a munch, babe. I don’t need everyone knowing my god-damn business.’
When Britt was with her ex-boyfriend, he wanted to experiment with growing a beard. She was staunchly against it, but not because she was worried that his facial hair would give her the ick, but because she thought it could reveal a rather intimate detail about their sex life.
‘One day he asked me, “What is it about facial hair that you don’t like?” And I was like, “because that s*** will be blonde, and you’re a brunette,’ she candidly told her followers in a TikTok, alluding to the fact that he, ahem, always enjoyed giving her oral.
‘B***hes are going to try and steal you away from me, and I’m sorry, but I can’t fight. You can call it being a hater, but I call it protecting my peace,’ she recalled. Needless to say, after they broke up, he grew facial hair. And it turned out to be blonde.
It’s not just Britt that’s a staunch believer in the ‘munch beard’ theory.
In the comments, one of her followers wrote: ‘My husband has bleach blonde hair around his mouth and women have made passes at him for that blonde af hair.’
‘Blonde hair, dark beard except my moustache and chin. That’s platinum,’ another added, while someone else admitted to making their boyfriend ‘dye their beard dark brown to match his hair.’
Other TikTokers have also caught onto it, as @ilymichyyy joked about being ‘such a munch,’ as his beard was ‘black’ before he met her.
Meanwhile, @justt.kelsey777 claimed that her mother-in-law believes her son has red in his beard because he ‘inherited it from her,’ but said that ‘she has no idea he’s a big eater.’
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So, is there any science behind the ‘munch beard’ theory? We’re sorry to burst the bubble, but according to Sarah Mulindwa, sexual health nurse and expert at Lovehoney, there’s no actual truth behind it. It’d be fun if there was, though.
‘Despite viral claims that giving a woman oral sex can bleach a man’s beard – the reality is, it’s very unlikely,’ Sarah tells Metro.
‘Vaginal fluids are naturally acidic, but not nearly strong enough to lighten hair in the way bleach or even lemon juice in the sun might. There’s no scientific evidence to suggest oral sex could change your beard colour.’
She adds that the beard lightening can actually be determined by other factors, including natural ageing, sun exposure, certain face washes and exfoliants, or even shaving products, particularly those containing caids or strong cleansing agents.
And crucially, all of these are completely unrelated to sex, making the ‘munch beard’ more of a ‘fun internet myth than a biological fact.’
‘What’s far more important to focus on is making oral sex safe, consensual and pleasurable’, Sarah concludes.
‘Using protection like dental dams, taking your time, and communicating about what feels good will always do more for your sex life than worrying about what’s happening to your beard.’
Can a vagina bleach other things?
While oral sex cannot bleach a beard, it is true that vaginal discharge can change the colour of your underwear.
Ever seen those pale stains that just won’t wash out, no matter how many times you put them through the wash? It’s a thing.
Discharge is naturally acidic, and it can leave white or yellow stains on your underwear’s crotch region.
Your vaginal discharge’s pH level is on the naturally acidic side, varying between 3.5 and 7. A healthy vagina will produce more acidic discharge, but the pH can fluctuate due to all sorts of factors, including your sex life, hormones, and the menstrual cycle.
It’s perfectly normal and nothing to worry about, and as Dr Alex Eskander, consultant gynaecologist at The Gynae Centre, previously told Metro: ‘The vagina contains ‘good’ bacteria, like lactobacilli, which keep the vagina healthy by maintaining the optimum acidity level, in turn preventing bad bacteria from causing infection.
‘When exposed to the air, the discharge can stain underwear a mild yellow colour due to oxidation.’
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