Which horrific non-horror film you should watch based on your Lancaster University college

Spooky season is officially underway so, with Halloween coming up this week, we reveal to you the perfect guide for what to watch, depending on your college.

Horror films aren’t for everyone, of course, so these films are a collection of the most harrowing, devastating, sob-fest cinematic masterpieces out there.

Fylde – (500) Days of Summer

We feel like most of Fylde would roll their eyes at the thought of watching a rom-com, but hear us out. If it were up to us, this would not be a ‘rom-com’, we’d pin it as more of a rom-horror; the film itself even admits that ‘this is not a love story, it is a story about love’.

The movie navigates the 500 days of Summer (get it?) and Tom’s relationship, jumping back and forth in their chronology to create an absolute tear-jerker. So, Fylde, if you’re heading home from The Mill after your football team has just lost and you’re looking for something even more devastating to watch, we have the film for you! 

Lonsdale – Aftersun

If you plan on watching this, Lonnies, make sure you’re prepared to hike to SPAR to grab a box of tissues… you’re going to need them.

In arguably the best British-made film of 2022, Aftersun takes you on a journey to a family holiday in Turkey. Sounds like a fun watch, right? Wrong. Paul Mescal and Frankie Corio portray a father and daughter duo on their holiday as they take on scuba-diving, karaoke, sunbathing, and so many more activities.

However, like every good horror, the nuances of the storytelling means you can’t shake the feeling of an increasingly melancholy atmosphere. Happy Halloween, Lonsdale, the feeling of impending doom from Aftersun is almost as bad as the thought of going to a 9am lecture in County South.

County – Big Hero 6

You County lot have probably already seen Big Hero 6. If you can form an emotional attachment to a LICA duck in the first few weeks of being on campus, you almost certainly formed an emotional attachment to this film when it first came out. It actually turns 10 this November – which is not daunting whatsoever – so what better way to say happy birthday by using it to celebrate the spooky season?

For those of you who haven’t yet been blessed with Big Hero 6, it’s a 2014 Disney animated movie that follows Hiro and his robot Baymax. All in all, it’s the least horrifying movie on this list (you’re very welcome) but there are some pretty devastating moments in there that pin it up here.

Furness – Bridge to Terabithia

Ouch. We’re sorry, Furness, this one is a toughie. Bridge to Terabithia is a 2007 ‘family adventure’ film… seriously, what were they thinking with this promotion? This should be a Halloween classic.

Based on the 1977 novel by Katherine Paterson, the film follows neighbours Jesse (Josh Hutcherson) and Leslie (AnnaSophia Robb) as they create the ‘secret kingdom of Terabithia’ in the forest outside their houses.

Furness, we know you’ll want to go and explore Terabithia for yourselves after watching this… if you can make it out of your room without collapsing into a puddle of tears.

Graduate – Dead Poets Society

If you’re in Grad and have just rolled your eyes because we’ve given you this, it’s probably because you’ve seen it before and have already been through the emotional trauma.

Dead Poets Society is an absolute 80s classic starring Robin Williams as a new poetry teacher at a very strict boarding school. Again with the false advertising, this film was branded as being a ‘comedy drama’. Dead Poets Society follows the boys at the boarding school creating an underground society (not affiliated with Lancaster University’s Students’ Union, unfortunately) as they are increasingly inspired by Mr Keating’s teachings.

As much as we am prescribing this film to Graduate, we really do think everyone should watch this horror for the experience alone. We always feel motivated to work after watching this – we just want to make Keating proud – so if you grads out there have any close deadlines, stick it on ASAP.

Cartmel – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Unlike the other films in this list, Eternal Sunshine is depressing from beginning to end. Sorry, Cartmel. However, it is the most pretentious ‘film bro’ movie on this list, so maybe some of you will appreciate the gesture (no offence).

The cast is absolutely stacked in this movie, led by Jim Carrey as Joel and Kate Winslet as Clementine. The 2004 film actually delves into the world of sci-fi; the whole premise is about the ex-couple going through a procedure that erases their memories of each other.

The long walk from Cartmel to Alex Square could be the perfect time to have a bit of an existential crisis after watching this.

Pendle – La La Land

The only musical on this list, of course, had to be given to Pendle. The *almost* Oscar-winning (if you know, you know) cinematic masterpiece from 2019 follows Ryan Gosling’s Sebastian and Emma Stone’s Mia through their relationship.

The film is highly influenced by jazz, with its soundtrack being an absolute gem that you can play on repeat. You’re so welcome Pendle, we’ve even given you an album to listen to if you want to be haunted this Halloween! La La Land is, without a doubt, the most beautiful film on this list, but that doesn’t mean it won’t traumatise you for a lifetime.

Grizedale – Marley and Me

We don’t really know how to put it into words, but Marley and Me is the most Grizedale-coded horror movie out there. Owen Wilson (John) and Jennifer Anniston (Jennifer) adopt a dog who teaches them some very important life lessons as they prepare to welcome their baby.

Sounds like a very sweet film to stick on at the end of a long day. Don’t be fooled. We’m not sure even a Grizedale townhouse could muster up the joy to throw a party after watching this one.

Bowland – The Notebook

Last, but certainly not least, we’re giving The Notebook to Bowland. This film is quite possibly the absolute definition of a sob-fest and is bound to ruin, not only your day, but probably the rest of your week.

The Notebook was released in 2004 (which seems to be a very popular year for these horror films) and is based on the 1996 novel of the same name. It is led by Ryan Gosling – who also starred in Pendle’s La La Land – as Noah and Rachel McAdams as Allie, a couple torn apart by war in the 1940s.

This might just be the perfect movie for Bowland, especially those in Bowland Tower, because you can easily roll out of bed to grab a comfort treat from Costa when it’s finished.

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